DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU!

I would love to blame it on the fact that I haven't been feeling completely healthy the last few days, and I've also been told I can't call in... but those are just excuses.

I still feel I would be thinking the same thing even if I was feeling bright and shiny.

WHAT THE F***?

Would you like to know what I am ranting about yet? I guess I could have started with a better intro- but rants are rants, they make you stir in your pants, make you wanna get up and chant! Rant! Rant!

Oh coffee, I love thee.

Sheesh, sorry... so the title is, "DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU!" because I am letting something, or more appropriately someone, get under my skin. I shouldn't. This little thing here and that little thing there definitely should not add up to me completely wanting to PUNCH this person. All that would lead to is a hurt hand and a burning bridge.

I could swim across the water every day, but the point is I like walking across the bridge. Every once in a while the bridge isn't my desired route and looks a little scary from time to time, but in the larger scope of things- I like the bridge... so why burn it? Why burn the bridge when I can find a better outlet for my frustration and otherwise less desirable feelings?

Oh what's that? Yes. Writing is that outlet.

Completely not caring about what's in front of me and going off into Ginnaland of the Adventurous and Strange is also an outlet. Fairly less productive than writing, but on occasion more exciting!

The narrative in my head is definitely growling at me and telling me to get back to work, that we have "so much more to do" and "you really don't want to be here passed 5 again, right??" but take this narrative:

NO! I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT LETTING IT BOTHER ME!!

Because, as it seems, others care just as little as me (at the moment). Normally I pace myself, I think thoroughly in the moment. I meditate in the now. I breathe to the rhythm of the present. Nah, screw that, today I am elsewhere.

Yesterday I was elsewhere. Tomorrow, I may be elsewhere.

I've been contemplating a lot about getting a tattoo gun. The starter kits are too expensive though, and I MUST I MUST I MUST (increase my bust? No...) save my money for more important and better things... although down the line having a small tattoo business could be quite the lucrative adventure.

I feel I would be excellent in the field. The right kind of challenge for me!

Oh well... another day another dream.

I'll add "Have supplies and tenacity to tattoo" to my bucket list. I'll get to it eventually.

Now, how much time has passed that I should be doing something else? That my "responsibility" lies elsewhere (much like my miiiiiiind....) is pretty much the last concern of mine. Today is my light day. Today is MY day. Today, I'm going to... to...

to... uh...

Anyone have any ideas?

In the long run I should be thankful for job security- but then again being told that I CAN'T BE SICK, making it necessary to be at work when, let's face it, I'm generally freaking miserable.

I try to keep it to myself and dwell in my little sullen world... but no, this goes wrong and that has to change and oh what's that? Our server is FULL? Oh great, maybe if the one person that knew how to run the mirror/backup program wasn't conveniently busy with a multitude of other projects this wouldn't have happened.

OK OK, it's not a terribly big deal... so we work in different folders on different hard drives today, but I can almost guarantee chaos will ensue in the near future if things aren't put back together soon. Mostly because people get so caught up in other projects, organization of "old stuff" gets forgotten until it becomes a problem.

I love reactivity. Not.
I'm proactive, and big fan of those that are (NO not that acne medication give me a break).

Whatever, I don't think I should be here, but if everyone eventually gets sick I'll call it even. YES I'm that ticked, I am wishing sickness upon others. I don't normally do that- you know I'm usually all positivity, sunshine and happy thoughts. *gag*

Screw that, I want hot tea and my dark, quiet, solitude granting bedroom.

>:/

Have You Ever- by The Offspring

This is one of my favorite songs, ever.


"Falling, I'm falling

Have you ever walked through a room
But it was more like the room passed around you
Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through

Have you ever been at someplace
Recognizing everybody's face
Until you realized that there was no one there you knew
Well I know

Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
Sleep forever
Some days, I'm so outshined and out of time
Have you ever

Falling, I'm falling

Have you ever buried your face in your hands
Cause no one around you understands
Or has the slightest idea what it is that makes you be

Have you ever felt like there was more
Like someone else was keeping score
And what could make you whole was simply out of reach
Well I know

Someday I'll try again and not pretend
This time forever
Someday I'll get it straight but not today
Have you ever

Falling, I'm falling

Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
Sleep forever
Some days, my darkest friend is me again
Have you ever
Someday I'll try again and not pretend
This time forever
Someday I'll get it straight but not today
Have you ever

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to make the world be a better place

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place
I'd like to leave the world as a better place
I'd like to think the world"

Backed Up

No... my title doesn't have anything to do with my physical *ahem* state or the fact I've been marathon-style watching Grey's Anatomy (I'm on season 6, Episode 12... I think).

I haven't been reading your blog entries like I should be. I'm behind. It makes me sad when I see I have missed ::cough:: four or more::cough:: entries. I really enjoy reading your writing. I like feeling like I am getting to know you, or... I guess that you "trust" me with your feelings, your words, and your life.

I mean, sure... most blogs are public. So, the trust thing I just said could be a bit far fetched- but for me, writing on this website is sharing. It's opening up. It's... having people read my writing. My life. My thoughts and my ideas. The ways that I feel. The ways that I handle myself.

I am trusting you not to judge me, and accept me for me. To be "an ear" (more appropriately eyes)... so, perhaps I generalize that to you. Are you trusting me to read your words and not judge you? To accept you for who you are and still be a part of your life? I hope so.

Maybe it is a good sign that I haven't had time to click click on the internet and stare at a bright screen in a dark room for longer than I do at work. I mean, I am enjoying my life... but in this enjoyment I leave behind little pieces of you behind. Ha, reading this back I am making myself sound like you all love having me read your posts and need me to. I know that's not the case- I am just trying to say sorry to those that I follow. I will read again soon.

But for now, I am going to go OUTSIDE and enjoy this beautiful weather.

Life is good. Thanks for stopping by, and I will see you on the flip side.

Cheers,
Vi

(PS- Why does my spell check insist that "internet" should be capitalized?)

Top Five!

Are you a fan of lists? Well, that's good because I am too. (If you answered no then I'd recommend skipping to the conclusion of this entry, the bulk is a bunch of lists).

What's with the sudden list frenzy? A combination of the movies Chaos Theory & High Fidelity, seasoned with a bit of my own personal organizational preferences. What a mouth full, don't read that last sentence out loud.

Did you read it out loud? Please say yes, I love the attention. I kid I kid. Wasn't this post supposed to be lists?

Well alright... Here are my favorites out of the listed categories, which could change without any given notice- because it's how I feel right now, and there's also so much left to discover. You know, that whole thing.

Top Five Favorite Movies

5. Death Race

4. NausicaA

3. Bio-Dome

2. Chaos Theory

1. Dragonheart

Top Five Favorite Albums

5. Smash- The Offspring

4. History- Michael Jackson

3. Jagged Little Pill- Alanis Morissette

2. El Cielo- Dredg

1. Make Yourself- Incubus

Top Five Favorite Songs

5. Bohemian Rhapsody- Queen (don't judge me)

4. Rebel Yell- Billy Idol

3. Wish You Were Here- Radiohead (the is the Pink Floyd cover. My choice used to be the original in this slot, but stumbling upon the Radiohead cover in a high quality set of headphones changed my mind)

2. The Canyon Behind Her- Dredg

1. Drive- Incubus

Top Five Favorite Colors

5. Black

4. Red

3. Orange

2. Brown

1. Green

Wow, I have already lost interest in making lists, and the exact reason why is: I start challenging my favorites, then have to go and listen to snippets of songs. Sheesh.

Completely random now, and forgive me for being so- it's just what I do. My friend showed off my novice virtual staging handiwork in her Photoshop class up at the University. She says they were dazzled. At least, I think she said dazzled. (I forget sometimes that I'm so vague in my posts no one really knows what I am talking about unless they know me personally... so sorry if you're in the dark. Shall I explain? I put fake furniture in photos of empty houses, so realtors can sell their houses faster. Sounds simple enough. Oh, and the contents of this paragraph are solely for my ego. I try not to let her get in the way too much, but it does feel good to be loved!) I feel like I am becoming more patient, as I teach myself the new program. It's called Autodesk 3ds Max. Holy cow, is it crazy! I've been teaching myself through random tutorials, forums, and blogs... Oh yes, tons of fun.

Valentine's Day is coming up. Hallmark's new blurp is "Valentine's Day isn't for saying, 'I love you.' It's for saying, 'I love us.'" I like it. Corporate or not, it's cute... and I'm almost a cerified authority on cute.

So this will be where I say goodnight. It's Tuesday night- and it has been a good night. I really start out with good intentions (a point, a purpose, something) in these entries but always end up rambling on. I suppose it is cathartic. Thanks for stopping by.

twittle my riddle and listen-

a whistle

goodnight like a light burnt out onsite

Cheers-

Vi

Thankful Thursday

Ah yes. It's about time, Virginia.

I am thankful for many and much.
I am thankful for all, given the chance.

I am thankful for caffeine
Laughter
Good coffee
Fast computers
Technology
Patience

I am thankful for vegetables
Nutrition
Flavor
Health
Lookin' good

I am thankful for good hair days
I am thankful for steady hands and a creative brain
I am thankful for pencils and erasers

I am thankful for payday
A big truck that runs but makes weird noises
GREAT friends and great memories

I am ever so thankful for love from all around
From close and from far
To accept and feel it from everywhere.

Love is awesome.


Go out and be thankful!

Or else! (dotdotdot your life will not be nearly as fun)

Cheers,
Vi

Throw that beat
Move your sluggish feet
Pick it up don't let it fall
Time to time to time to rock it all.

Sit, throw, back and flow
This is how my story goes-
In my ears the bass is bumping
In my heart my blood is pumping

Feeling like the sky could crash
But I don't worry- byebye in a flash.
Deep beep in my drums
Ting Tang from the slums

High strung like a mutha fucka
Fingers tapping, don't want to rush ya
But here it is- the time to run
I've just started having fun

Run, ran into my jam
Pop and lock like no one can
Smooth rhythms and beat
Move move move my feet

Roll the body and flick the wrist
Momma can't teach you moves like this
It's mine this soul this rhyme this air in time
It's mine all mine, no sour lime

Eat it, breathe it, goodbye defeat it
Lay down, Jump up, this is legit
Bounce baby, bounce baby ride
This is my kind of stride.