I have many fond memories of summer BBQ's throughout the years; camping, fireworks, that sort of thing... but one year something extraordinary happened, and it goes a little something like this:
Sitting on the base of the lifeguard tower was the best spot on that Independence evening, as the scattered humans along the beach hustled and bustled preparing to watch the Oceanside fireworks show. We didn't need chairs, and our butts weren't going to get wet in the sand. Hooray for that.
More than thirty, though I'd say less than fifty, folks filled into the moon shaped cove. Chattering and laughing. My partner in crime and I wiggled with impatience (and chilliness) when the inspiration to start singing our National Anthem smacked us in the metaphorical face.
We started singing, and within a few seconds over half the beach raised their voices and joined the melody. I cried because it was so cool- and I was like 14. What a sap.
Definitely one of the more emotional things I've ever been a part of. Felt like a musical, without the dancing. It was the scene where the main characters are going through a big emotional climax moment. Know what I mean?
Ah, regardless- HAPPY INDEPENDENCE DAY! T'is a beautiful world and nation we have. Some of us may believe there is something better out there. We all have our faults, and we all have our strengths. Your perspective is the most powerful tool in your toolbox. Change how you see yourself, your world, and your life- and accept that LIFE IS GOOD. OK, now I'm just on a soapbox. It's fun up here, short people need to stand on things to get their point across (or reach something in the cabinet above the oven).
Friday, July 1, 2011
The Eye
Beauty, they say, is in the eye of the beholder.
What becomes of those who see beauty in everything?
What becomes of those who see beauty in everything?
Monday, June 20, 2011
I guess I will always be...
...A California girl.
Yes, it's in my blood and my soul. Both physical and mental. I just don't know what it is, but I thought I would loathe it this time around.
Nope, I'm ready.
This weekend was a beautiful adventure. Filled with family and LOTS of driving. I've already adapted myself to the way Californians drive and dare I say- it's more fun than driving here. YES there are too many freeways and all of which could be at standstill traffic at any given time, but I suppose it comes with the territory.
It's going to be a challenge getting ourselves happily situated in SoCal when the time comes, but I know it's going to work. I didn't feel nearly as dreadful about CA this time around. Maybe this means I've grown up a little, and I have a better control of my own destiny? Feels something like that.
Wish us luck, we're going to need it- and a small miracle.But we've got plenty of friends and loved ones in SoCal, so we won't be alone. :)
Until later,
Vi
Yes, it's in my blood and my soul. Both physical and mental. I just don't know what it is, but I thought I would loathe it this time around.
Nope, I'm ready.
This weekend was a beautiful adventure. Filled with family and LOTS of driving. I've already adapted myself to the way Californians drive and dare I say- it's more fun than driving here. YES there are too many freeways and all of which could be at standstill traffic at any given time, but I suppose it comes with the territory.
It's going to be a challenge getting ourselves happily situated in SoCal when the time comes, but I know it's going to work. I didn't feel nearly as dreadful about CA this time around. Maybe this means I've grown up a little, and I have a better control of my own destiny? Feels something like that.
Wish us luck, we're going to need it- and a small miracle.But we've got plenty of friends and loved ones in SoCal, so we won't be alone. :)
Until later,
Vi
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
61
Wow, I have 61 followers. I mean, I knew I was awesome but...
;)
I guess what I am really trying to say is thank you. Thank you followers for stopping by from time to time to read the random musings of a quarter-aged woman going through life as positively as possible. Your visits and comments are immensely appreciated, and help reassure me my words mean something.
I mean, why else say something unless it's useful...?
Because it feels good, that's why.
That's why I'm here. Writing feels good. Having people like my writing feels better. Sharing personal insights and reading others' blogs are just one way to reach out and connect. Technology is an interesting thing, eh? Bringing so many to believe they have all the answers right at their fingertips, almost immediately- shortening our attention spans to almost nothing and completely erasing the need for memory....
Thankfully, not everyone experiences this. Though there are plenty that still fall victim to society's pull and wish to prove something, be cool, be the best-- I feel as though there is a rapidly growing percentage of folks who just want to be heard and share genuine positive feelings with those willing to listen. Would you agree? I mean, step back for a second and consider how the focus has shifted from "bigger is better" to "efficient and renewable is BEST!". *Ahem* For those of you sitting back and thinking, "All those people who take their own bags into the grocery store are crazy hippies" then maybe you're on the wrong blog? I kid, I kid.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE TECHNOLOGY. Here I am, sitting with my bass heavy headphones blasting Mika in my ears, checking weather updates for my trip to California this weekend, and sporting fake toenails (ya, don't ask...), but that doesn't mean I'm not trying.
Oh Earth. One in a million.
Have you seen The Pyramid Code [[on Netflix Instant Watch- yes, I'm addicted]]? SO AWESOME. I highly recommend it if you have a natural gravitation toward Egypt or forward thinking. Good stuff. It's five 45 minute or so episodes, most of it is wordy and sometimes it's all over the place- but if you sit through the duration there is brilliant insight to be had.
Yes, I've had a few glasses of wine, but I am celebrating. I will be with my son tomorrow. Just thinking about it makes me want to tear up.... I can't believe I survived SIX months without seeing him. Yes, I feel like a terrible mom (I know I'm not, but it eats me up inside everyday and night...), I feel empty and lost without fulfilling my purpose...
*Clears throat* Alright enough of that. In August I will see my baby on a regular basis. I will be his Mom. I will be his AWESOME mom. I have no doubt moving to California will be hard, but every time I wrap my arms around that incredibly intelligent, creative little man things will fall into place.
Life IS good. Life is worth living. Ya, I like that.
Good night everyone. Thanks for tuning in, and I wish you an adventurous weekend.
;)
I guess what I am really trying to say is thank you. Thank you followers for stopping by from time to time to read the random musings of a quarter-aged woman going through life as positively as possible. Your visits and comments are immensely appreciated, and help reassure me my words mean something.
I mean, why else say something unless it's useful...?
Because it feels good, that's why.
That's why I'm here. Writing feels good. Having people like my writing feels better. Sharing personal insights and reading others' blogs are just one way to reach out and connect. Technology is an interesting thing, eh? Bringing so many to believe they have all the answers right at their fingertips, almost immediately- shortening our attention spans to almost nothing and completely erasing the need for memory....
Thankfully, not everyone experiences this. Though there are plenty that still fall victim to society's pull and wish to prove something, be cool, be the best-- I feel as though there is a rapidly growing percentage of folks who just want to be heard and share genuine positive feelings with those willing to listen. Would you agree? I mean, step back for a second and consider how the focus has shifted from "bigger is better" to "efficient and renewable is BEST!". *Ahem* For those of you sitting back and thinking, "All those people who take their own bags into the grocery store are crazy hippies" then maybe you're on the wrong blog? I kid, I kid.
Don't get me wrong, I LOVE TECHNOLOGY. Here I am, sitting with my bass heavy headphones blasting Mika in my ears, checking weather updates for my trip to California this weekend, and sporting fake toenails (ya, don't ask...), but that doesn't mean I'm not trying.
Oh Earth. One in a million.
Have you seen The Pyramid Code [[on Netflix Instant Watch- yes, I'm addicted]]? SO AWESOME. I highly recommend it if you have a natural gravitation toward Egypt or forward thinking. Good stuff. It's five 45 minute or so episodes, most of it is wordy and sometimes it's all over the place- but if you sit through the duration there is brilliant insight to be had.
Yes, I've had a few glasses of wine, but I am celebrating. I will be with my son tomorrow. Just thinking about it makes me want to tear up.... I can't believe I survived SIX months without seeing him. Yes, I feel like a terrible mom (I know I'm not, but it eats me up inside everyday and night...), I feel empty and lost without fulfilling my purpose...
*Clears throat* Alright enough of that. In August I will see my baby on a regular basis. I will be his Mom. I will be his AWESOME mom. I have no doubt moving to California will be hard, but every time I wrap my arms around that incredibly intelligent, creative little man things will fall into place.
Life IS good. Life is worth living. Ya, I like that.
Good night everyone. Thanks for tuning in, and I wish you an adventurous weekend.
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Goin' to California with an achin' in my heeeeart...
Everything is coming up so fast... six weeks is not a long time.
Holy crap, we move to California in six weeks.
Ah yes... Matt and I have made the big decision to move back to California. I really need to be closer to Trevor- it's breaking my heart and soul to be so far away from him. It's the right time to make this move. I know it. Well, I HAVE to tell myself I know this.
Let's face it- I moved to Utah and fell in love. I finally felt like I was free of the anguish that tangled me up in all the negative energy that strangles California (woah, what a loaded sentence).
Perhaps.... yes, perhaps I am strong enough now to take California head on. To face new challenges and move above and beyond all the petty BS that is the society & economy. I do have a certain level of angst and fear going into this move, as we will be left with virtually no funds, and currently haven't found jobs or a home...
...Hey didn't I say I was trying to be positive? Ya, about that...
Switching subject: A telephone conversation (for lack of a better word) a couple nights ago left me shaking and overwhelmed. I finally broke my barrier of control and let EVERYTHING out. I said EVERYTHING I wanted to say. Oh dear me, a lady would never expel such things.
Good thing I'm not much of a lady (unless the occasion calls for it, but I digress).
The general outcome of all this is really really positive. It wasn't easy to hear some things that were said, nor was it easy to say things I said. What's done is done. Hopefully from here on out things will be a little, eh, easier. I know it's just a Band-Aid brand bandage on a seething wound but perhaps with proper care and time the wound will just become a scar?
Oh metaphors. So fun.
In other news I've finally knocked down my artists' block. Thank goodness. I have a feeling MAKING myself do something original for my resume is the kick starter. I'm feeling all rejuvenated and creative and junk. Ya, well, maybe mostly junk.
I've got ads to scour and laundry to attend, so I will leave y'all ("you all" for the anti-slang fans) with a parting ditty:
...nope, got nothing. Told ya, mostly junk.
Sincerely,
Vi
Holy crap, we move to California in six weeks.
Ah yes... Matt and I have made the big decision to move back to California. I really need to be closer to Trevor- it's breaking my heart and soul to be so far away from him. It's the right time to make this move. I know it. Well, I HAVE to tell myself I know this.
Let's face it- I moved to Utah and fell in love. I finally felt like I was free of the anguish that tangled me up in all the negative energy that strangles California (woah, what a loaded sentence).
Perhaps.... yes, perhaps I am strong enough now to take California head on. To face new challenges and move above and beyond all the petty BS that is the society & economy. I do have a certain level of angst and fear going into this move, as we will be left with virtually no funds, and currently haven't found jobs or a home...
...Hey didn't I say I was trying to be positive? Ya, about that...
Switching subject: A telephone conversation (for lack of a better word) a couple nights ago left me shaking and overwhelmed. I finally broke my barrier of control and let EVERYTHING out. I said EVERYTHING I wanted to say. Oh dear me, a lady would never expel such things.
Good thing I'm not much of a lady (unless the occasion calls for it, but I digress).
The general outcome of all this is really really positive. It wasn't easy to hear some things that were said, nor was it easy to say things I said. What's done is done. Hopefully from here on out things will be a little, eh, easier. I know it's just a Band-Aid brand bandage on a seething wound but perhaps with proper care and time the wound will just become a scar?
Oh metaphors. So fun.
In other news I've finally knocked down my artists' block. Thank goodness. I have a feeling MAKING myself do something original for my resume is the kick starter. I'm feeling all rejuvenated and creative and junk. Ya, well, maybe mostly junk.
I've got ads to scour and laundry to attend, so I will leave y'all ("you all" for the anti-slang fans) with a parting ditty:
...nope, got nothing. Told ya, mostly junk.
Sincerely,
Vi
Thursday, June 9, 2011
A flow
Not unknown
But shrouded in guise.
I will uncover
I will discover
The Divine.
This path we walk, we run, we trot
Is winding tied up in knots
Why must we meander on
Telling ourselves to stay strong...?
Reaching outward for answers,
Though the answer is clear:
Reach inward for peace
And be rescued from fear.
Easier said than done I'm afraid
Losing sight of what is important
Along our way
Help me dear, Help me friend-
This transition, this change
Is both beginning and end...
A confusion bred in fact
A conclusion bred in mystery
I feel I have learned so much
Yet here I am
Sitting here
Babbling on
Understanding almost
Nothing.
Not unknown
But shrouded in guise.
I will uncover
I will discover
The Divine.
This path we walk, we run, we trot
Is winding tied up in knots
Why must we meander on
Telling ourselves to stay strong...?
Reaching outward for answers,
Though the answer is clear:
Reach inward for peace
And be rescued from fear.
Easier said than done I'm afraid
Losing sight of what is important
Along our way
Help me dear, Help me friend-
This transition, this change
Is both beginning and end...
A confusion bred in fact
A conclusion bred in mystery
I feel I have learned so much
Yet here I am
Sitting here
Babbling on
Understanding almost
Nothing.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Close to Home
Ah yes, it's been quite a while since the clacking of keys has provided enough "release", so I haven't been writing. It's a cathartic thing for me, and I pretty much only write when something is...well... at least I try to be... interesting.
On Sunday, my sister called me as I was just arriving at a friend's house for dinner. The first thing I heard was, "Before you hear anything anywhere else, or see the news, everyone is OK."
I lifted my eyebrows and took the bate, "Wait, what? What happened?!"
As the details flowed I learned a HUGE tornado hit my sister's home town. My Aunt Penny, Uncle Bill, and cousin Amy also live there... not to mention all their assorted loved ones and friends.
Thankfully, my family has not been hurt, but their house has lost its roof as well as all the contents of the home! Memories, collectables, material items that have lived in that house for decades. It is a genuine gift to have them safe and unharmed, but a heart breaking feeling to know they've lost so much so fast.
I feel so helpless watching videos of the devastation. I am wrestling ideas around in my head wondering how in the world I can help... I am considering flying out there to volunteer with Red Cross or search and rescue teams. I've just never been so close to, and so far away from, a disaster. The empathy is inescapable. I wish a was a kwabillionaire so I could immediately start rebuilding the homes lost.
....*sigh*. I love you Family, I am so incredibly thankful no one has been hurt or lost in all this. I am sending prayers and love, because for now- that's all I can do.
On Sunday, my sister called me as I was just arriving at a friend's house for dinner. The first thing I heard was, "Before you hear anything anywhere else, or see the news, everyone is OK."
I lifted my eyebrows and took the bate, "Wait, what? What happened?!"
As the details flowed I learned a HUGE tornado hit my sister's home town. My Aunt Penny, Uncle Bill, and cousin Amy also live there... not to mention all their assorted loved ones and friends.
Thankfully, my family has not been hurt, but their house has lost its roof as well as all the contents of the home! Memories, collectables, material items that have lived in that house for decades. It is a genuine gift to have them safe and unharmed, but a heart breaking feeling to know they've lost so much so fast.
I feel so helpless watching videos of the devastation. I am wrestling ideas around in my head wondering how in the world I can help... I am considering flying out there to volunteer with Red Cross or search and rescue teams. I've just never been so close to, and so far away from, a disaster. The empathy is inescapable. I wish a was a kwabillionaire so I could immediately start rebuilding the homes lost.
....*sigh*. I love you Family, I am so incredibly thankful no one has been hurt or lost in all this. I am sending prayers and love, because for now- that's all I can do.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)