Ego

This blog is titled "Ego" because... well... it's about me :).

Work:
-Absolutely great! I have made some really good friends already and the people "on my team" are awesome.
-I get to ski everyday I work! Even days I don't work! hehe.
-I went down an intermediate run and didn't die. It was really darn steep.
-I love it!
-My job is a great ego booster (like I need one) because I already have someone crushing on me (so I have through the grapevine), and so many people there are friendly and I get smiled at a lot. It's always good for the soul to see smiles all day, every day.

Trevor/ Nathan:
-We took Trev skiing (pictures will be posted on flikr someday, I promise) this week and he did so well. He loved it and kept asking to go down again. We might get him his own gear for Christmas.
-He is so smart (duh!). He speaks in full sentences now like, "Mommy get Trevor's shoes and put shoes on please." Or something more adorable, "Please Mommy drink of water over there? [he points to a glass of water on the table]"
-I know some of you think me leaving was the worst possible solution to anything- but Nathan and I are getting along great.
-If you think it was awful, have lost respect for me, or don't understand any of it I suggest you ask Nathan how he is feeling about everything. Maybe that will clear some things up. I don't want to speak for him, of course, but we are all doing as well as we could be.

Matt & I:
-Happy.

All in all, I can tell it's going to be one kick butt season. Thanks to those of you who are sticking around, hanging in there with me, and loving me. You all make help my heart beat, my heart smile, my heart sing.

I love you.

I survived!

My first real day of work, coming down the slopes and all that...

I LOVE the ladies I work with. They are a blast.... now once my brain calms down from the super-dooper-oober-information-overload (I believe that's the technical term)... I will actually be able to enjoy coming down the slope, and taking pictures, and making money. Right now, my brain is about to 'splode.


Sorry I haven't given a decent update recently, it's been a relatively turbulent few weeks. :) Turbulence can be fun- it hasn't been bad at all. I got to see Trevor, talk with Nathan, work some things out, learn to ski, start work, meet new people... fun shtuffs.

This is a picture from when Nathan and Trevor came up. He tackled me :) A LOT. And I LOVED every second of it.

My Beautiful Son

I held him, kissed him, laughed with him...

Put him to bed...

I get to see him when I wake up.


I feel wonderful.

My boy, my wonderfully beautiful son- thank you for everything.
Thank you Nathan, for being so awesome about all this.


::high five::

It has been my experience that patience, truth, and positive thinking can and always will turn a situation to it's best possible outcome.

NEVER doubt your heart. Trust me.



I love you.

New photos up on Flikr.... nothing too special, really.

Just some stuff.

I promise better shots will be coming soon. I'm trying not to be inspired by sadness, but rather hope and light... and well... that's really difficult sometimes.

::high five:: Time to play some Lego Indiana Jones, and eat burritos... yep... on Thanksgiving.

Hope y'all have a good one. Mine is just another day.

Hooray.

Once again, the world wide web is available to me under my own roof.


This is splendid news. Today, I plan to take pictures of where I am living and some other things to give y'all a better image of where I am at. Instead of just knowing it's cold and it's a house. LOL.

Unfortunately, I don't start work until the 3rd- and if it doesn't start snowing (for real) soon I might not be starting full time on the 6th like I am supposed to. What am I doing? You may be asking...

I totally scored an amazing job as a mountain photographer for Deer Valley Ski Resort. I don't get to take pictures of people in motion (yet)... I stand at the top of a designated lift and take pictures of families and stuff before they head down the mountain. It doesn't sound like a lot of fun, but here's the deal... it's commission so I can make lots 'n lots of cashola. Also, the perk, is I don't have to (more like, I am not allowed to) approach them. The skiers have to come to me. Yay for not feeling like a Disneyland photographer! If you have no idea what I am talking about, just smile and nod.

I guess now is just as good of a time as any to explain to those patient followers why I am where I am (holy weird sentence Batman). I have separated myself from Nathan, my husband, for more reasons than I care to share at this point in time. I do, however, wish the world to know that Nathan is not a bad man at all. He never treated me terribly, hit me, or treated Trevor in any manner that's harmful. I have been called (and called myself) a free spirit since I can remember. This time my free spirit may have lost me a few of my dearest friends, but in this life of mine I cannot be unhappy. All I can do is wish that others will accept me (and thank you to those that truly have- and I love you forever) and understand that I am not far away even though it feels like it.

I am beginning to ramble. If you like, I can proceed. Otherwise I will just say "ta ta".

Alright, alright.... I will keep going. Thanks Taryn (hehe).

In cases such as mine many, many people will ask why I didn't stay and try to make it work with my husband. They will argue that it is what needs to be done, and I have made an incredibly selfish decision that can never be seen as positive.

What do I do? Well... I respect them for having the courage to tell me their opinion, and understand their anger or loss of respect for me. It's all I can do. I cannot be angry for them or at them. They are being themselves- and trying to help me.

Unfortunately, some friends of mine will never understand completely. They will remove me from their fore mind, and think of me in pain and regret. I do not feel sorry for them. I do not feel pain.

I am becoming more than I ever have been before. Growing bigger and faster in my mind and heart. Seeing the world and universe through a god's eyes.

I love you, my "known" readers. I love you, my dear friends. I love you, my family. I love you, universe. I love you, my wonderful wonderful son. I love you, most of all, me.

I wish I could say "sorry" and mean it to those whom I have hurt. Sorry is not in my mind. I know I have hurt (terribly) those who were close to me, especially Nathan... but he knows I cannot be held back. He has been tremendously amazing with me through all this. To feel sorry right now is to be out of alignment.

I am happy. Everyday I am thankful for the breath in my lungs and the beating of my heart. Everyday I am thankful for a healthy and amazing boy (although not with me physically- always with me in my heart). Everyday I am thankful. Everyday I am happy.

No internet...

I haven't had the internet, and it will be a little while before I get it again.


So, that's why you haven't gotten any nonsense from me in a while.

Much love,
V