Something Beautiful

You ever wonder why humans can't stick with being happy, and always wind up feeling sad or miserable?

Ya- me too... because I mean, being happy is so dang awesome. Sometimes it's easy and sometimes it's hard, but the general consensus is: WORTH IT.

We are infinite and limitless.

Just give it a try.

The Secret

Netflix now has "The Secret" on instant watch.

If you haven't seen it, I highly recommend giving it a chance.

Beautiful message :)

Whir

The white noise
Hum Whir occasional click
Rustle and shuffle I can't make it stick
I can't sleep and it's
YOUR fault
You're away and I have stayed
And I miss you so...
So come home safely and
Hold me tight, though
Tonight we may be lonely
Soon all will be right!

DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU!

I would love to blame it on the fact that I haven't been feeling completely healthy the last few days, and I've also been told I can't call in... but those are just excuses.

I still feel I would be thinking the same thing even if I was feeling bright and shiny.

WHAT THE F***?

Would you like to know what I am ranting about yet? I guess I could have started with a better intro- but rants are rants, they make you stir in your pants, make you wanna get up and chant! Rant! Rant!

Oh coffee, I love thee.

Sheesh, sorry... so the title is, "DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU!" because I am letting something, or more appropriately someone, get under my skin. I shouldn't. This little thing here and that little thing there definitely should not add up to me completely wanting to PUNCH this person. All that would lead to is a hurt hand and a burning bridge.

I could swim across the water every day, but the point is I like walking across the bridge. Every once in a while the bridge isn't my desired route and looks a little scary from time to time, but in the larger scope of things- I like the bridge... so why burn it? Why burn the bridge when I can find a better outlet for my frustration and otherwise less desirable feelings?

Oh what's that? Yes. Writing is that outlet.

Completely not caring about what's in front of me and going off into Ginnaland of the Adventurous and Strange is also an outlet. Fairly less productive than writing, but on occasion more exciting!

The narrative in my head is definitely growling at me and telling me to get back to work, that we have "so much more to do" and "you really don't want to be here passed 5 again, right??" but take this narrative:

NO! I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT LETTING IT BOTHER ME!!

Because, as it seems, others care just as little as me (at the moment). Normally I pace myself, I think thoroughly in the moment. I meditate in the now. I breathe to the rhythm of the present. Nah, screw that, today I am elsewhere.

Yesterday I was elsewhere. Tomorrow, I may be elsewhere.

I've been contemplating a lot about getting a tattoo gun. The starter kits are too expensive though, and I MUST I MUST I MUST (increase my bust? No...) save my money for more important and better things... although down the line having a small tattoo business could be quite the lucrative adventure.

I feel I would be excellent in the field. The right kind of challenge for me!

Oh well... another day another dream.

I'll add "Have supplies and tenacity to tattoo" to my bucket list. I'll get to it eventually.

Now, how much time has passed that I should be doing something else? That my "responsibility" lies elsewhere (much like my miiiiiiind....) is pretty much the last concern of mine. Today is my light day. Today is MY day. Today, I'm going to... to...

to... uh...

Anyone have any ideas?

In the long run I should be thankful for job security- but then again being told that I CAN'T BE SICK, making it necessary to be at work when, let's face it, I'm generally freaking miserable.

I try to keep it to myself and dwell in my little sullen world... but no, this goes wrong and that has to change and oh what's that? Our server is FULL? Oh great, maybe if the one person that knew how to run the mirror/backup program wasn't conveniently busy with a multitude of other projects this wouldn't have happened.

OK OK, it's not a terribly big deal... so we work in different folders on different hard drives today, but I can almost guarantee chaos will ensue in the near future if things aren't put back together soon. Mostly because people get so caught up in other projects, organization of "old stuff" gets forgotten until it becomes a problem.

I love reactivity. Not.
I'm proactive, and big fan of those that are (NO not that acne medication give me a break).

Whatever, I don't think I should be here, but if everyone eventually gets sick I'll call it even. YES I'm that ticked, I am wishing sickness upon others. I don't normally do that- you know I'm usually all positivity, sunshine and happy thoughts. *gag*

Screw that, I want hot tea and my dark, quiet, solitude granting bedroom.

>:/

Have You Ever- by The Offspring

This is one of my favorite songs, ever.


"Falling, I'm falling

Have you ever walked through a room
But it was more like the room passed around you
Like there was a leash around your neck that pulled you through

Have you ever been at someplace
Recognizing everybody's face
Until you realized that there was no one there you knew
Well I know

Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
Sleep forever
Some days, I'm so outshined and out of time
Have you ever

Falling, I'm falling

Have you ever buried your face in your hands
Cause no one around you understands
Or has the slightest idea what it is that makes you be

Have you ever felt like there was more
Like someone else was keeping score
And what could make you whole was simply out of reach
Well I know

Someday I'll try again and not pretend
This time forever
Someday I'll get it straight but not today
Have you ever

Falling, I'm falling

Some days, my soul's confined and out of mind
Sleep forever
Some days, my darkest friend is me again
Have you ever
Someday I'll try again and not pretend
This time forever
Someday I'll get it straight but not today
Have you ever

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to make the world be a better place

When the truth walks away
Everybody stays
Cause the truth about the world is that crime does pay

So if you walk away
Who is gonna stay
Cause I'd like to think the world is a better place
I'd like to leave the world as a better place
I'd like to think the world"

Backed Up

No... my title doesn't have anything to do with my physical *ahem* state or the fact I've been marathon-style watching Grey's Anatomy (I'm on season 6, Episode 12... I think).

I haven't been reading your blog entries like I should be. I'm behind. It makes me sad when I see I have missed ::cough:: four or more::cough:: entries. I really enjoy reading your writing. I like feeling like I am getting to know you, or... I guess that you "trust" me with your feelings, your words, and your life.

I mean, sure... most blogs are public. So, the trust thing I just said could be a bit far fetched- but for me, writing on this website is sharing. It's opening up. It's... having people read my writing. My life. My thoughts and my ideas. The ways that I feel. The ways that I handle myself.

I am trusting you not to judge me, and accept me for me. To be "an ear" (more appropriately eyes)... so, perhaps I generalize that to you. Are you trusting me to read your words and not judge you? To accept you for who you are and still be a part of your life? I hope so.

Maybe it is a good sign that I haven't had time to click click on the internet and stare at a bright screen in a dark room for longer than I do at work. I mean, I am enjoying my life... but in this enjoyment I leave behind little pieces of you behind. Ha, reading this back I am making myself sound like you all love having me read your posts and need me to. I know that's not the case- I am just trying to say sorry to those that I follow. I will read again soon.

But for now, I am going to go OUTSIDE and enjoy this beautiful weather.

Life is good. Thanks for stopping by, and I will see you on the flip side.

Cheers,
Vi

(PS- Why does my spell check insist that "internet" should be capitalized?)