My life, as imagined, includes a few luxuries paired with the perfect balance of adventure and stability.

My life, as lived, includes challenging opportunities dashed with brilliant luck and good karma.

Both versions come completely stocked with chocolate, coffee, and peanut butter.

So it's good, in the most deliciously ambiguous way possible.

Strangle

Trains of thought whistle loudly through my fears
Correct the reaction
Or take better action
Be positive in any way you can

Hm about that...

See? Ok I'm breaking from that freewrite.  Sometimes they come out really cool but I'm not feeling this one anymore.

Could be the real turbulence going on right now. Do you ever feel like exactly 2.5 seconds after you get one major thing finally figured out a whole new category of chaotic destruction comes your way? Sorry for all the awkward explanations- I'm in the mood for overly descriptive long and drawn out sentences.

Where was I? Oh yes, turbulence.

It's becoming more difficult for me to turn my negative thoughts into positive ones.  Generally, it's easy.  T'is possible the reason I'm struggling is because I realized I'm a negative person. BUT I spin things around to make them as positive as possible.

Blah.

See? I don't really even care to share all this. I know in my heart everything is fine, I just need to keep calm and remember to live in the moment. 

I'm sorry there's no point to this entry.  It happens a lot here.

*shrug*

G'night!

Faces shoved into phones
Fingers blazing across tiny plastic screens
Unaware of beauty around them
Because instant gratification has them hooked


What is this world we live in coming to
Blind to the resources of nature and growth

Oh society, as I see it, sitting in a Starbucks for free wifi

The Dance

Riddle & Twiddle
Your thumbs in the middle
While waiting for life to step up...

Then you lose your grace
Fall flat on your face
And wonder what the heck went wrong!

Take a moment and consider the jitter
That negativity puts in your space!


-----

Just had to do that, it popped into my head like a freewrite, so I wrote it here.  In short, I am glad I have conquered the darkness for the time being.  The strength that comes out of me sometimes is surprising. But it's DEFINITELY due to my amazing support system!!  Without my friends, Matt, Trevor, and my Mom's spirit--  *sigh*  you guys know what I am trying to say.

Well, it's time to dance so I'll say goodbye for now.  Embrace the light!

Thanks for tuning in,
Virginia

Good Morning

The Undone

Which is that of the one undone?
Whistle my ear or rhythm my drum?
Emotion vibration if down it will go...
To end which this is the quest to know.
In thinking my thoughts be they wary or weak
I find it endearing amidst the defeat.
Standing there grinning
Tilting and winning-
Wave of wondering: Complete.

Survival

Hi everyone.

It's definitely been a while since I've written.  Hey- I never promised regular entries, though I may have hinted at it on occasion.

Here's one for you. :)

You know how life likes to become extraordinarily challenging from time to time?  You know... to make sure you're still paying attention?  That's what's going on right now in my little world.

Thanks Life, it's a good thing I like you.

Is all that vague enough for you?  I'm REALLY trying to be positive if it wasn't obvious.  Things are pretty tough right now in my body, mind, and soul.  This huge change has... well... it definitely tilted my security.  I'm off.  Distracted.  Feeling stranded, dependent, sad, confused, frustrated and just plain bad.

I shouldn't!!!  Duh.  I have a roof over my head, I have a good job, I have family, I have a beautiful son, a wonderful boyfr... ugh OK you guys get it.  Said it before and all that junk.

Anyway...

Once things smooth out (oh please oh please I hope they do soon!!!) I'll be able to gain a different perspective on all this, and in turn one can hope to learn and grow from it all.  The usual Lifetime Drama storyline, minus the neighbor with down syndrome and the little brother who is struggling to make friends in his new school.

It's not Thursday, but maybe a smooshing of things I am thankful for in this next paragraph will help with my trek in the right direction. Alrighty:

living above the city & being able to see the stars - my favorite voice singing & telling me he loves me over & over & over on the phone every night - unconditional, true, love - a great job that i am really good at - old friends - new friends- the "quiet car" on the train - getting better at holding my tongue - being able to think of things i am thankful for even though it's so easy to get pissed off at everything - kind "family" - helpful friends - readers who get this far into my blog (hey, thanks by the way...) - breath in my lungs, strength in my muscles, will power - a tv that also functions as an awesome computer monitor - healthy food - free stuff - motorcycles that run - the best dog in the world - aaaaaaand....

LIFE.

Oh yes Life, that's right I am thankful for you.  During a spell of negativity I found myself wishing I could be like a fox, or ant, or bird, or any non-domesticated creature for that matter.  Their sense of purpose is simple.  They have the same goal every day.  No need to question themselves.  No need to wonder, "Why has this happened to me?"  The weight of free will doesn't exist in their lives.  Imagine that.

Truth is, wasting your time daydreaming about being somewhere else or being someone else doesn't change a damn thing.  Just makes you feel worse.  I am an advocate for "The Secret" also known as the Law of Attraction so if I stay in this dark place more dark things will happen.  I know this.  I am trying!  Well, maybe I am.  It feels like I am... but ya know, it would be nice if things would just fall into place already!!