Friday, October 3, 2008

Twisted inside, about to explode
What better way than quietly

Swinging in time to the music in my ears
Blowing up my heart, blowing up my mind
Trying dear trying
Not to think clear

Muddy murky
Easier to breathe
When your covered in muck
In my case, in this case
I want to break

Run away
A thousand times in my head
Run away a million time sin my heart
Which way to run
To falter to fall
To sink


Deep in the crevice the dark the dark
About what I am thinking clearly undefined
Brains spattered on the ground
Metaphorically of course
Heart pierced with shrapnel
Broken jagged

broken
jagged

Bloody mess in my eyes
bloody mess in my spirit setting free
the dark side of me
prepared to run
but scared to death
scared
scared

cliche madness
predictable text
perfectly damaged
coming undone

an entity not entirely empty
but losing sand with time
through the holes although ever so tiny
they are


things that are
tend to be
never leaving my brain
no matter how badly i try
no matter how badly i try to get them away

venting through the growing cracks
what happens when i am out of steam?
what happens? what does all this crap mean?


why is it loud music in my ears makes everything ok?
why is it i can see nothing? hear everything? feel....

feel... barely.


free write feel it write
feel it right

feel it wrong feel wrong to be right
in my brain
where i belong
i cry in songs

i cry in songs

as long as i can breathe
as long as i do breathe i will live fine
by my own, my own, rules.

always