The white noise
Hum Whir occasional click
Rustle and shuffle I can't make it stick
I can't sleep and it's
You're away and I have stayed
And I miss you so...
So come home safely and
Hold me tight, though
Tonight we may be lonely
Soon all will be right!
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
The white noise
I still feel I would be thinking the same thing even if I was feeling bright and shiny.
WHAT THE F***?
Would you like to know what I am ranting about yet? I guess I could have started with a better intro- but rants are rants, they make you stir in your pants, make you wanna get up and chant! Rant! Rant!
Oh coffee, I love thee.
Sheesh, sorry... so the title is, "DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU!" because I am letting something, or more appropriately someone, get under my skin. I shouldn't. This little thing here and that little thing there definitely should not add up to me completely wanting to PUNCH this person. All that would lead to is a hurt hand and a burning bridge.
I could swim across the water every day, but the point is I like walking across the bridge. Every once in a while the bridge isn't my desired route and looks a little scary from time to time, but in the larger scope of things- I like the bridge... so why burn it? Why burn the bridge when I can find a better outlet for my frustration and otherwise less desirable feelings?
Oh what's that? Yes. Writing is that outlet.
Completely not caring about what's in front of me and going off into Ginnaland of the Adventurous and Strange is also an outlet. Fairly less productive than writing, but on occasion more exciting!
The narrative in my head is definitely growling at me and telling me to get back to work, that we have "so much more to do" and "you really don't want to be here passed 5 again, right??" but take this narrative:
NO! I DON'T CARE! I'M NOT LETTING IT BOTHER ME!!
Because, as it seems, others care just as little as me (at the moment). Normally I pace myself, I think thoroughly in the moment. I meditate in the now. I breathe to the rhythm of the present. Nah, screw that, today I am elsewhere.
Yesterday I was elsewhere. Tomorrow, I may be elsewhere.
I've been contemplating a lot about getting a tattoo gun. The starter kits are too expensive though, and I MUST I MUST I MUST (increase my bust? No...) save my money for more important and better things... although down the line having a small tattoo business could be quite the lucrative adventure.
I feel I would be excellent in the field. The right kind of challenge for me!
Oh well... another day another dream.
I'll add "Have supplies and tenacity to tattoo" to my bucket list. I'll get to it eventually.
Now, how much time has passed that I should be doing something else? That my "responsibility" lies elsewhere (much like my miiiiiiind....) is pretty much the last concern of mine. Today is my light day. Today is MY day. Today, I'm going to... to...
Anyone have any ideas?
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
I try to keep it to myself and dwell in my little sullen world... but no, this goes wrong and that has to change and oh what's that? Our server is FULL? Oh great, maybe if the one person that knew how to run the mirror/backup program wasn't conveniently busy with a multitude of other projects this wouldn't have happened.
OK OK, it's not a terribly big deal... so we work in different folders on different hard drives today, but I can almost guarantee chaos will ensue in the near future if things aren't put back together soon. Mostly because people get so caught up in other projects, organization of "old stuff" gets forgotten until it becomes a problem.
I love reactivity. Not.
I'm proactive, and big fan of those that are (NO not that acne medication give me a break).
Whatever, I don't think I should be here, but if everyone eventually gets sick I'll call it even. YES I'm that ticked, I am wishing sickness upon others. I don't normally do that- you know I'm usually all positivity, sunshine and happy thoughts. *gag*
Screw that, I want hot tea and my dark, quiet, solitude granting bedroom.