Saturday, February 23, 2008

That Thing

In the passed 9 days I have felt more clear (physically, mentally, spiritually) than I have in my entire life.

I completely attribute it to taking meat out of my diet. When a "major" decision like this is made and the end result is clarification- I have no problem when ::cough::judgemental::cough:: people say things about how it's "silly" or "pointless". I have put the word "major" in quotations because most people consider something like that huge- but to me it was not. I barely ate meat in the last 2 yrs anyway.

My favorite is when people tell me I will get sick and need to take so many vitamins. They seem to enjoy sharing others' pains with me (i.e.- my cousin blah blah blah sick all the time blah blah lost weight yadda yadda started eating meat again...).

My vegetarianism has also been referred to as "that thing" as well.

"Oh, we did that thing for a few years."

It's not a thing to me. It's a lifestyle. It's a position. It's power. It's peace. It's health. It's clarity, justice, and above all else, better for me.

Why is it others find they need to tell you what's in your best interest? That always make me smile and be thankful for who I really am.

A good person.

Thanks for reading...


Friday, February 22, 2008


A children's show called "Higglytown Heroes" features someone from the community in each episode that is a "hero" and can help people.

Today's was a dog trainer. I have to say, I was very happy. :0)

So far it has ranged from construction workers to school nurses...and to have a dog trainer in the mix definitely makes me proud. Heh.

It's a relatively creepy show- but what kid shows don't contain a but of oddness?

...mmm... that's it.


Thursday, February 21, 2008


Therapy can come in the weirdest ways- most of the time it is surprising.

Last night Chelsea and I built a fort in the living room..errr...den...whatever room it is. We watched I ♥ Huckabees and talked afterward until about 2:15am. The fort was awesome. The movie is amazing. Our friendship is priceless.

I woke up this morning to Guitar Hero for Wii sitting on the counter. Nathan got it for me for Valentine's Day. He couldn't find it until last night.

See...if I just keep my head on straight, have a few breakdowns here and there, but regain balance- the world can right itself.

While there are still a million emotions stirring inside and I fight the battle not be so selfish that I don't see others in their painful worlds.

It's hard, but I am trying. I think it stems from the idea that, "If I fix myself first, then everything else can fall into place easier..."

...but I know not everyone wants to just hear about my aches and pains, problems, or fears.

Oh, I rambling or what?

------I guess I could get back on track----

As I was folding the sheets this morning, not only did I discover I absolutely loathe folding sheets, I was reminded that life is as complex as our brain chemistry but as simple as clipping sheets up over the tv and couch.

I guess, a person just has to focus on outlets. Without them, houses get burned down.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008



It's increasingly difficult for me to deal with Nathan's shift. Tonight- he woke up at 7. He leaves at 8:30.

We sleep next to each other for only about an hour tops each morning. Instead of cleaning or taking care of some other necessary business while Trevor is taking a nap- I crawl in bed next to Nathan (careful not to wake him) and lay there. Sometimes I fall asleep.

Totally sucks. There are only 7 more days of this shift, but it won't end there. I KNOW he will stay up all night even if he isn't working. I hate it, I hate it, I hate it.

I have expressed my disdain- but he will lose a dollar an hour if he switches to the day shift. Freakin' lame. I just wish there was something ELSE out there that offered the same long as it was a decent DAY job.

I miss my husband. A lot. Shtupid shift. Shtupid WalMart.

Tuesday, February 19, 2008


143 million pounds of beef recalled from ONE company in Chino, CA. MMmm...

Makes me happy I am a vegetarian.

Monday, February 18, 2008


Ever feel like so much is happening all at once, but nothing at all really is?

Life tosses lemons, then water balloons, then tomatoes, then grenades, then atom bombs.
But when all has exploded and the dust clears-

Everything is the same.

My support system, my stress level, my tv shows, my dog.
All back to the way they were.

It's frustrating- yet relieving.

Nothing changes, but that means nothing has gotten worse... I guess.

It's all fleeting. There will always be weight on my shoulders no matter where I may live, whom I may love, or which roads I choose to walk.

As long as it's not coming and going- I think I can live with the guarantee that it will always be there, and always be the same.

(And if anyone has any idea what I am talking about- I would love to know, that was sort of a free write).


::ack:: Sometimes this dry climate kills the membranes inside my nose.

I am drrrrrrrrry.

...and yes I am very aware there is nothing wise about that.

In other news: Trevor LOVES blocks. The middle sized legos are his favorite. I love watching him stack a tower as tall as he can. He has always liked them, it's just been recently he will sort through his pile of toys (it's a pretty big pile) and pick out all the square blocks to make a tower.

Oh, my wonderful son. I just hope his trend of getting up before 8 is just that- a trend. Nothing permament. Heh.