Oh gosh, what to say really? So, so very very much- but I am afraid I'm at a loss for words.


It's upsetting, but I figure there is some sort of reason I can't write out my inner workings to the world. Every time I sit in front of a computer to write I get this sort of stuff:

"Life is good."
"I am thankful."
"So much to learn."

Either I'm onto something big, or my brain's slacking due cold temperatures and very little warm-up time.

Seriously perplexing.

"Let me explain. No wait, there's too much. Let me sum up." -Inego Montoya.

Fear
Strength
Patience
Longing
Yearning
Dreams
Nerves
Chills
Home Cooked Meals
Egg Shells
Floor
Puppies
Snow
Ankle
Money
Learning
Chances
Trust
Love
Mature
Immature
Decisions

(Well, in about 30 seconds' worth of free writing- that's what you get.)

...Keeping my chin up, and a smile on my face (not to mention caffeine in my blood),
Ginna

There is much.

In this life, I am thankful I can be positive.

I feel as though there is much, much more in this universe I have yet to learn, and that makes me so happy!!


This world is a big and wonderful place.

There's a lot I've been meaning to say (in this case type), but I just keeping "thinking" everything, instead of voicing it out loud.


Ya, I know... weird. Right?

It Always Works.

There is no way I can ever doubt you, and our magic.

It will always work for us.
_____________________________________

"Always an Adventure."

Working on that for a new blog title, considering my day today has made me say it about twelve times.


Today has been a doozie. It's not even over yet.

[I can hear Paige screaming in laughter upstairs, it's hilarious]

I kinda feel like I am drowning right now.
The people, the loved ones, that forgive and forgive and forgive....

Sometimes I am a very bad friend.
I forget birthdays, to call back, reply to emails...

I pick up and leave telling only those who happen to cross my path.

But I never forget the love.
I'll never forget how each and every one of you has helped me in a big way.
I will repay you.
I will be a better person

I have a lot of growing up to do
A lot of letting go
A lot of accepting and understanding

And it's all just a small piece of the pumpkin pie.

Happy Holidays everyone. This is my favorite time of year.

When the Mountains Call

....I can't ignore the ringing....


I HAVE to answer...


Turns out, they want me to go back, and I need them just as much as they need me.

OK mountains, you win, we're coming home.

Road Rash

Hi all, Virginia here. Matt says hi.

A little Tarantino here: We're OK, and so is my leg... but my pasta and pants are not.

Matt picked me, and our dinner up from work tonight on the bike (a common practice).

We were aproaching Bryan on Jamboree going toward the 5 freeway. A driver in the left hand turn lane waiting at a red light for oncoming traffic started going left, even though their light was definitely still red. Matt was entering the intersection at this time, so this van MAJORLY cut us off. (Gosh I can't even think of a way to explain this without pictures, because I didn't really get a chance to think it all just happened so fast).

Rear break locked, twice, and long story short Virginia got whipped off the back left. Matt kept the bike up and thankfully no one was coming because we were now on the opposite side of the road, with a median and no real easy way of crossing back to the correct side of the road. Anyway... I fell on my left knee and shoulder, then hit my head, and rolled onto my back and side. We were going about 40 when this happened so I have a little road rash on my leg, and some scratches on the helmet and jacket. Needless to say our grilled chicken pasta didn't survive and my work pants have seen better days.

We went back to BJ's (my work, haha) to get a new pasta and make sure everything was hunky dory on my body. I was a little nervous (OK, lie, A LOT nervous) on the ride back to BJ's. My friend brought me home in her car.

I've iced my knee and taken a few ibuprofren (or however it's spelled) and I am feeling well. I think I might be a little nervous on my next time out, but all in all Matt did a very good job of avoiding a further catastrophe... and I think an Angel was with us for sho!

As I keep thinking about it, and trying to describe what really happened it just gets harder. I wasn't scared. Seriously, as odd as that sounds, I just accepted the fact I was not in control and let what was going to happen-happen. The only real memory I have is seeing the side of Matt's bike within inches of my face and the sound of the helmet scraping on the ground.

Weird.

Mentally- I'm calm, and happy... like really... this hasn't phased me terribly. I accept its lesson and the gift that neither of us were badly injured (actually, I am the only thing that got injured [minus pasta all over the road and work pants]).

Theoretically I could be in shock, but really, I think I am just in love with riding motorcycles.

:)

Dear Life,
The last several days (basically since my last post) have been simply lovely. I am very happy, and am wonderfully in love with you and your gifts!

Thank you Life.

Love,
Virginia

Freewriting amidst a muddy mind

Walk a thin line and tell me how you feel.
Walk over coals and tell me how you feel.
Walk a thousand miles in summer sun and tell me how you feel.

It's a lot like hanging from a branch with ants crawling on your fingers.
It's a lot like microwaving a CD on high for 30 seconds.

Pretty fun at first but then a disaster.

Head butting. Sharp words. Evil eyes. Loud vibrations.
What happened? I'm sorry but I must have missed something.

Operational error.
I/O device error.
Internet Explorer cannot find the web page.

One speaker kinda crackles if you turn it up too loud.

Oops, wrong words. I could have sworn I knew this song.
Great now my throat stings. WTF, did you get me sick?

Sometimes, it is best to take some time to yourself...
Not easy, but best. Damn you life. Sometimes I effin' hate you.

What are you going to throw at me next? Who am I going to lose in order to gain myself? What am I going to learn? What "great lesson" do you have planned? What common phrase, or feel-good saying to you have for me, Life? What goes around comes around? We create our own universe? Every storm cloud has a silver lining?

How about this one?

"Screw you."

Time.

It's been far too long since a decent post...

...and you'll have to wait just a little bit longer.


Love,
Me

Yep.

Life is definitely good.

Sometimes Life tries to be messed up- but you always have something thrown at you that makes you laugh a good deep-down hearty laugh.

Am I right?

Hey Baby,

Here's to the most brilliant, challenging, beautiful, amazing, wonderful, exciting, happy, and best year of my life.


Thank you Matt, you've done more for me than I could even put into words (but you know that :P).

Now get out of bed it's time to go camping!!! ::giggle::

Love,
Me

He wears a hair tie around his wrist, brings out a big glass of milk and chocolate chip cookies, reminds me to brush my teeth at night, puts my artwork in permanent ink on his arm, pout faces when he is sad ( and it never fails to make me smile), always carries a lighter, rides a motorcycle, lets me decide what movie to watch, makes me think in run on sentences, and much much much much much more.



To my Lover: You rock.
thankyou.

Recovery!

Sibby has been recovered, and is being sent home as I type.


The world is right once more hehe.


::happy dance::

SADFACE!

Through unfortunate events that I feel better blaming on a few people in particular Trevor's precious Sibby has been left at an Airport in Hawaii.



Maybe it's no one's fault.
Maybe it's someones.

Either way- I am scouring the internet looking for an exact replica of this stuffed animal. It's ridiculously difficult but I have to get my baby's Sibby back. It's my mission.

I love you Trevor! I'll find Sibby.

Today is Shitty.

Don't like cussing? Oh well.

Screw you positivity.
Screw you shitty people.
Screw you stress.
Screw you prick/tool boss.
Screw you error.
Screw you shitty coworkers.
Screw you shitty tippers.
Screw you money.
Screw you dog piss stain on the floor.
Screw you shitty parking spot.
Screw you if you're offended.
Screw you infected REALLY PAINFUL toe.
Screw you sore back and leg (resulting from sore toe and walking wrong all night).
Screw you ant infestation.
Screw you over due bills.
Screw you "job market".
Screw you, "Ya, my life sucks worse than yours..."



Over it.
Shitty effin day.

..Many Thanks.

As I have been constantly examining my stance on life, changing my views, growing up, learning more, meeting new friends, new jobs, so on and so forth- I have come to realize a few valuable things:

...I am definitely a victim of "Out of sight, out of mind."
...I always forget birthdays- thank you to my dearest loves who don't hate me for it.
...For once, I love my job AND am respected by my superiors (I know, right? Weird...)
...I fully believe in the law of attraction- it's incredibly difficult to constantly find the positive side of things but I still do it. And it still works.
...My dog is awesome.

...and mostly Love is all you need.

Full Moon

... I really hope that I am not the only person in this world that felt the greatness of the full moon last night.


It was as though the world could end and it wouldn't matter.


Everything was whole.
Everything was pure, perfect, and the way it should be.

Sometimes I enjoy taking a step outside of reality and pretending I live in a different kind of world.

I don't care how crazy it sounds, it's just me.


I wrote this last night:

"Why am I so fond of our moon? Perhaps it is because she was my home when I was a dragon."

I would like to take a moment...

..and thank Jacquee (Rhinaffe Photography on my links) for this AMAZING forward... I laughed at EACH one.

The last one, especially, seeing as I work Take Out for BJ's. I know I have done that one for sure.

Please enjoy-
.............

> Random Thoughts of the Day:

> I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

> More often than not, when someone is telling me a story all I can think
> about is that I can't wait for them to finish so that I can tell my own story that's not only better, but also more directly involves me.

> Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong. (this never happens to me though)

> I don't understand the purpose of the line, "I don't need to drink to have
> fun." Great, no one does. But why start a fire with flint and sticks when
> they've invented the lighter?

> Have you ever been walking down the street and realized that you're
> going in the complete opposite direction of where you are supposed to be going? But instead of just turning a 180 and walking back in the direction from which you came, you have to first do something like check your watch or phone or make a grand arm gesture and mutter to yourself to ensure that no one in the surrounding area thinks you're crazy by randomly switching directions on the sidewalk.

> I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

> The letters T and G are very close to each other on a keyboard. This
> recently became all too apparent to me and consequently I will never be
> ending a work email with the phrase "Regards" again.

> Do you remember when you were a kid, playing Nintendo and it wouldn't
> work? You take the cartridge out, blow in it and that would magically fix the problem. Every kid in America did that, but how did we all know how to
> fix the problem? There was no internet or message boards or FAQ's. We just figured it out. Today's kids are so soft.

> There is a great need for a sarcasm font.

> Sometimes, I'll watch a movie that I watched when I was younger and
> suddenly realize I had no idea what the f*ck was going on when I first saw it.

> I think everyone has a movie that they love so much, it actually
> becomes stressful to watch it with other people. I'll end up wasting 90 minutes shiftily glancing around to confirm that everyone's laughing at the right parts, then making sure I laugh just a little bit harder (and a
> millisecond earlier) to prove that I'm still the only one who really, really gets it.

> How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

> I would rather try to carry 10 plastic grocery bags in each hand than
> take 2 trips to bring my groceries in.

> I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your
> computer history if you die.

> The only time I look forward to a red light is when I'm trying to finish a text.

> Was learning cursive really necessary?

> Lol has gone from meaning, "laugh out loud" to "I have nothing else to say".

> I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

> Answering the same letter three times or more in a row on a Scantron
> test is absolutely petrifying.

> My brother's Municipal League baseball team is named the Stepdads. Seeing as none of the guys on the team are actual stepdads, I inquired about the name.
> He explained, "Cuz we beat you, and you hate us." Classy, bro.

> Whenever someone says "I'm not book smart, but I'm street smart", all I
> hear is "I'm not real smart, but I'm imaginary smart".

> How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and
> smile because you still didn't hear what they said?

> I love the sense of camaraderie when a n entire line of cars teams up to
> prevent a dick from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers!

> Every time I have to spell a word over the phone using 'as in' examples, I
> will undoubtedly draw a blank and sound like a complete idiot. Today I
> had to spell my boss's last name to an attorney and said "Yes that's G as
> in...(10 second lapse) ..ummm... Goonies"

> What would happen if I hired two private investigators to follow each
> other?

> While driving yesterday I saw a banana peel in the road and
> instinctively swerved to avoid it...thanks Mario Kart

> MapQuest really needs to start their directions on #5. Pretty sure I know
> how to get out of my neighborhood.

> Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the
> person died.

> I find it hard to believe there are actually people who get in the shower
> first and THEN turn on the water.

> Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and
> you can wear them forever.

> I would like to officially coin the phrase 'catching the swine flu' to be
> used as a way to make fun of a friend for hooking up with an overweight
> woman. Example: "Dave caught the swine flu last night."

> I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

> Bad decisions make good stories

> Whenever I'm Facebook stalking someone and I find out that their
> profile is public I feel like a kid on Christmas morning who just got the Red Ryder BB gun that I always wanted. 546 pictures? Don't mind if I do!

> Is it just me or do high school girls get sluttier & sluttier every year?

> If Carmen San Diego and Waldo ever got together, their offspring would
> probably just be completely invisible.

> Why is it that during an ice-breaker, when the whole room has to go
> around and say their name and where they are from, I get so incredibly nervous? Like I know my name, I know where I'm from, this shouldn't be a problem....

> You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work
> when you've made up your mind that you just aren't doing anything productive for the rest of the day. My moment might be right now...lol (I have nothing else to say)

> Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after DVDs? I don't want to have to restart my collection. amen

> There's no worse feeling than that millisecond you're sure you are
> going to die after leaning your chair back a little too far.

> I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten page research paper that I swear I did not make any changes to.

> "Do not machine wash or tumble dry" means I will never wash this ever.

> I hate being the one with the remote in a room full of people watching TV There's so much pressure. 'I love this show, but will they judge me if I keep it on? I bet everyone is wishing we weren't watching this. It's only a
> matter of time before they all get up and leave the room. Will we still be
> friends after this?'

> While watching the Olympics, I find myself cheering equally for China
> and USA . No, I am not of Chinese descent, but I am fairly certain that
> when Chinese athletes don't win, they are executed.

> I hate when I just miss a call by the last ring (Hello? Hello? Damn it!), but
> when I immediately call back, it rings nine times and goes to voicemail.
> What'd you do after I didn't answer? Drop the phone and run away?

> I hate leaving my house confident and looking good and then not seeing
> anyone of importance the entire day. What a waste.

> When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't
> already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.

> I like all of the music in my iTunes, except when it's on shuffle, then I like about one in every fifteen songs in my iTunes.

> Why is a school zone 20 mph? That seems like the optimal cruising speed
> for pedophiles...

> As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.

> Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know
> what time it is.

> It should probably be called Unplanned Parenthood.

> I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

> I think that if, years down the road when I'm trying to have a kid, I find out that I'm sterile, most of my disappointment will stem from the fact
> that I was not aware of my condition in college.

> Even if I knew your social security number, I wouldn't know what do to with it.

> Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys
> in a pocket, hitting the G-spot, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but
> I'd bet my ass everyone can find and push the Snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time every time...

> My 4-year old son asked me in the car the other day "Dad what would
> happen if you ran over a ninja?" How the hell do I respond to that?

> It really pisses me off when I want to read a story on CNN.com and the link takes me to a video instead of text.

> wonder if cops ever get pissed off at the fact that everyone they drive
> behind obeys the speed limit.

> I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

> I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday
> night more kisses begin with Miller Lites than Kay.

> The other night I ordered takeout, and when I looked in the bag, saw they
> had included four sets of plastic silverware. In other words, someone
> at the restaurant packed my order, took a second to think about it, and then estimated that there must be at least four people eating to require
> such a large amount of food. Too bad I was eating by myself. There's nothing like being made to feel like a fat bastard before dinner.

Noobie!

Tomorrow Matt and I are going on a noobie ride through the OC! There are about SIXTY bikes signed up right now, and I am sure there are more coming.

So, if you're touring around Orange County and see a HUGE group of street bikes we'll be in it.

Here's to CAREFUL riding! SMART riding! SAFE riding!


PEACE!
Virginia

Although it's been terribly hot the last few days (and exaggerated by our nonexistent air conditioner), I as usual, have much to be thankful for.

Matt and I have recently become a part of a community known as OCMOTO. It's a street bike forum for folks living in Orange County, hence the catchy name. Matt's been riding for over two years, with no accidents (thank heavens!) and hasn't ever been to a bike night, or a ride.

We joined this group, posted a forum introducing ourselves and within an hour we had 80 views and 15 replies!! We were welcomed into the group with open arms and encouraged to come to the gatherings. So we did.

We went to Haus of Pizza (ironically where a dear friend works) on Monday, and Cook's Corner on Tuesday. Matt and I are collectively known as MaVi- as that is our screen name on the forum. It's a lot of fun meeting all these new wonderful people who share our common interest. I knew groups like this existed but I had no idea they consisted of such AWESOME people!!

Matt and I are thankful for this new adventure into the street bike realm.
I am thankful for safe rides, good advice, more new friends, and the passion for bikes!

I am thankful for sushi lunch, courtesy of Mike D, as it has been a while since I've had some.

I'm thankful for quick healing.
I'm thankful for fabric markers.
I'm thankful for Guitar Hero and its ability to help me survive this heat wave.

I'm thankful for you, my friend, who shares a few minutes of their time with me and my silly little stories.

Til we meet again-
Virginia

Oh What A Night...

Since my night at work was a little "over dramatic" (completely all in my head) I am taking the opportunity to completely vegg and fill out a little surveymabobber.

Copy and Paste yadda yadda yadda.

Three names I go by:
1. Ginna
2. V
3. Baby


Three jobs I have held:
1. Pageant Helper- Disneyland
2. Foodling- BJ's Restaurant
3. Personal Assistant for a rich lady in Tustin (BEST JOB EVER)

Three places I have lived:
1. Where it snows a lot
2. Where it rains a lot
3. Where it's practically always sunny.... (and not my favorite of the 3 either...).

My three favorite drinks:
1. Water
2. Iced coffee with milk and chocolate syrup
3. Red Bull

Three TV shows that I watch:
1. The Office
2. Avatar (although canceled- I still watch it consistently)
3. Family Guy

Three places to which I've been:
1. Anchorage, AK (with lots of BC and Yukon in between here and there)
2. Dayton, OH
3. Enlightenment

Three people who e-mail/Facebook me regularly:
1. Who ever I facebook or email
2. My Lover
3. Paige

Three of my favorite restaurants:
1. BJ'S of course!! Haha, ironic. I'll most likely despise their food in a few months
2. Old Spaghetti Factory MMmmmmm
3. Del Taco

Three things I look forward to:
1. The day before
2. The day of
3. The day after

Three places I would like to visit:
1. Amsterdam
2. Tahiti
3. Peru

Three things on my "bucket list":
1. Sky Dive
2. Have a horse of my own
3. Sell a painting for more than $40,000.

ThankfulThursday

I am thankful for:

Good friends
Best friends
New friends

Great, healthy hair
Delicious (and free) food
A fun job


There is a very big decision coming up in my life soon. It'll definitely affect the world around me and I need to make sure I do the right thing, the thing that feels the best in my heart. You will hear more about it in future posts but for right now- I am stewing things around in my head and heart. Hopefully- the right choice will present itself obviously to me (ya, right. when does that really happen?).

See ya.

A Few Good Days

There is nothing like having a few really really good days help you get over one really crappy day. It's the best therapy. Life is genuinely good!

Life is genuinely fun, happy, progessive, exciting, beautiful...

Thrilling, great, easy....

You have the power to do it.

I knew it!

OK admittedly the last few years have been spent consolidating, getting rid of, learning to live with less, and of course selling... stuff.

But there are a few items that have managed to survive the cleansing.

One found it's permanent use tonight, after 11 years of not really having any purpose at all, and just recently surviving a run in with Jubs...

The "feather tickler" my mom bought me at the renn fair my freshman year (of high school, thankfully) was a pointless decoration on my costume, and later a repeated failure of "tickle-massage"; it resulted in violent appendage twitches and inevitable bruises :), hehe...

Now, it proudly resides as the first decoration of Peace, the pipe.

Nothin' like a little robbery and suicide to make you remember how good your life is.

I was working right across the parking lot today from where this happened. Can't say it didn't disturb me a little, but only because of how the people around me were acting...

Distraction

It's that time again...

So much to say, really.

So many many thoughts in my head dancing around trying to make me publish them.


Too bad silly thoughts. All you get tonight is:

Thank you, new friend.

kissed any one of your Facebook friends? YEP
Kissed someone you didn't like? YES
Slept in until 5 PM? OH YES, I'M NOCTURNAL.
Fallen asleep at work/school? YEP
Held a snake? YEP, ANYTIME I WANT TO HOLD ONE I CAN ;)
Ran a red light? NOT ON PURPOSE!
Been suspended from school? NO WAY
Experienced love at first sight? MMM...OH YES, TWO WORDS: STREET BIKE
Totaled your car in an accident? YES
Been in a vehicle at more than 100 mph? OF COURSE!
Driven a vehicle at more than 100 mph? YOU BETCHA
Been fired from a job? YES
Fired somebody? NO, THANK GOODNESS
Sang karaoke? HEHE YES
Pointed a gun at someone? TECHNICALLY? YES.
Done something you told yourself you wouldn't? ABSOLUTELY.
Laughed until something you were drinking came out your nose? NOPE
Caught a snowflake on your tongue? HUNDREDS!
Kissed in the rain? :)
Had a close brush with death? MOST LIKELY
Played spin-the-bottle? MMHMM
Sang in the shower? YEP.
Smoked a cigar? BLECHK. YES.
Sat on a rooftop? MY FAVORITE.
Taken pictures of yourself naked? ...::CHUCKLE::
Smuggled something into another country? YEP :D TOTALLY NOT AS EXCITING AS ONE WOULD THINK
Been pushed into a pool with all your clothes on? YES
Broken a bone? YES
Skipped school? YES
Eaten a bug? NOT ON PURPOSE
Sleepwalked? NOPE
Walked a moonlit beach? OH YES
Rode a motorcycle? YES!!
Dumped someone? YEAH
Forgotten your anniversary? NO, "MONTHAVERSARY" YES.
Lied to avoid a ticket? NOPE
Ridden in a helicopter? NO
Shaved your head? NO, BUT SOMEDAY.
Played a prank on someone? YES
Hit a home run? NOPE
Felt like killing someone? NO
Cross-dressed? YES
Been falling-down drunk? YES
Made your girlfriend/boyfriend cry? YES :(
Had Mexican jumping beans for pets? NOT FOR PETS, BUT YES
Puked on amusement ride? NO! EWE...
Seriously & intentionally boycotted something? HAHA, YA RIGHT.
Been in a band? I WISH!
Knitted? YES
Been on TV? KINDA
Shot a gun? YES
Skinny-dipped? YES
Gave someone stitches? WITH INK AND A PEN...
Eaten a whole habenero pepper? NOPE
Ridden a surfboard? YES
Drank straight from a liquor bottle? YES
Had surgery? NOPE
Streaked? YES
Taken by ambulance to hospital? YES, BUT I WASN'T THE INJURED PERSON
Tripped on mushrooms? YES
Passed out when not drinking? NOPE
Peed on a bush? YES
Donated Blood? YES
Grabbed electric fence? NOPE
Eaten alligator meat? ....NO?
Eaten cheesecake? MMM YES
Eaten your kids' Halloween candy? YA! A 1 YR OLD DOESN'T NEED TOOTSIE ROLLS, OR PEPPERMINT PATTIES, OR LOLLIPOPS, OR...
Killed an animal when not hunting? NO
Peed your pants in public? NO...?
Pooped your pants in public? MAYBE WHEN I WAS A BABY...?
Snuck into a movie without paying? YES
Written graffiti? YES
Think about the future? YES
Been in handcuffs? YES
Believe in love? AFIRMATIVE
Sleep on a certain side of the bed? YEP
Member of the mile high club? NOT YET!
Watched the sunrise with a friend? YES
Camped with a group of friends at the beach? OH YES
Any regrets??NOPE
Have you ever danced in the rain? YOU BET.

Good days

The last few days have been nice.

Sunday Aug. 16th is Matt's bday and I'm throwin' a little party for him including drinks, cards, die (as in multiple dice, hehe) games, and whatnots.

Gonna be awesome.

You are invited.

HYPER

I'm genuinely hyper...

Like I can't stop talking or smiling or giggling. It feels nice.

I like having three cups of coffee during work ::GRIN::

Thanks...

I am thankful for Thursdays.

I am thankful for my friends.
My Love.
My family.
Trevor, beautiful Trevor.

I am thankful for the ability to keep my head clear when I am surrounded by storm clouds.
I am thankful for my gift with words.
I am thankful that I can spell well and speak clearly (and thankful for those who helped teach me).

Thank you hands.
Thank you smile.
Thank you eyes.
Thank you body- you've never let me down :).

I am thankful for seeing my cousin Amy.
I am thankful for my puppy's ability to always make me smile.

There is much more I wish to write, but perhaps I'll close with:

It's definitely a great evening. I have much to be thankful for... much more than I will ever write. One should always pay attention to their surroundings, there is so much beauty in this world. Night night, all.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARG!




that's all.

Shouldn't let the urge for responsibility ruin the temptation of fun.



...Shouldn't, but will.

Tankful Tursday

I am tankful for

1. Nice people
2. Spending lots of time wit Matt
3. Witty, suspenseful amazing movies like Ocean's 11 and Lucky Number Slevin.
4. Little tings
5. Great, great, great friends.
6. The letter "H"

Junk Food

::burp::


I ate a TON of junk food last night. I'm telling you, like.... a lot.

In other words:
Mytummyhurts


Oh the aftermath. This is why I like to eat healthy. I feel good.


Eating bad = feeling bad

Eating good = feeling good

See how easy that is?
Next time V, lay off the deliciously tempting Famous Amos box of cookies.

A Little Something for Saturday

itfeelssoverygoodtobeinlovewithhim

Thankful Thurs

1. Abbreviations.
2. A GREAT new job
3. Kisses!
4. The ability to wear short shorts
5. A clean bedroom
6. New friends
7. Household parties, gatherings, and all around fun times with roommates


This is what I am thankful for.

Love,
Virginia

Theme Days.

Alright, if there's one thing I can thoroughly enjoy participating in- it's theme days for blogs. "Thankful Thursday" is the only one I'm doing now.

I have a few ideas for the coming days, but I am not sure if I should execute all at once like a big bonanza week of themed blogs.... or trickle, here and there?

Hm. Dilemma indeed.

In other news: A fire truck came blazing down the street, siren wailing, like it was on its way to the hospital (ironically just down the street). Though instead of the siren dwindling down as it stopped bouncing off the stucco walls of our condo units, it cut out completely- right in front of us. Thank goodness it was LOUD and it woke me up ;). So as I am laying still trying to fall back asleep (c'mon now, it's only 11:30am, I don't have work until 4) I can hear the deep rumble of their engine and doors opening and closing.

Curious.

I hopped outta bed and peeked over the window sill of the bathroom window to see what was up. There was the truck, in the MIDDLE of our...uh.... streets I guess.... blocking every one's way. My window is about 5 ft high so I had to stand on my tiptoes to see anything.

Not for long.

Grabbing a chair, I could then satisfactorily see the driver wave hims arms about in a "I think it's left THEN right" kind of way. The co-pilot points at a sheet of paper and then waves his arms pointedly about.

::Giggle::

THEY ARE LOST!

Meanwhile there are a few firemen (not cute either dangit) awkwardly buzzing about the back end of the truck, or switching seats or doing firemen things that I can only guess were appropriate for that moment. Maybe Driverman said, "Dudes, we are totally lost. So, you three back there, go tighten some caps and straighten the hose, while Skippy and I figure out where to go."

As I was watching a fireguy looked up at me.

"Can he see me? I thought these screens were.... oh well... I'll keep staring."

He waved. I waved back, and continued my observatory stare.

I was totally the creepy chick in the window, but they were totally the loud and lost firemen in my front yard. I had to keep watching.

So, long story longer I'm awake and starving. I might go throw some food together from the kitchen then come back upstairs and do some serious cuddling.

Life is Good, don't let your mind tell you otherwise.

I'm going to sign off this crazy story with... ::drum roll::


A quote!

Teilhard de Chardin
"We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience."

Nothing too important.

Just wanted to say hi.

It's a Sign.

The Hollywood sign is one of the most famous icons of...well... Hollywood. Tonight I stood below it. A great deal below, but still.

It was spectacular. The night was definitely an adventure. A good one. A very good one.

I suppose I could write the whole story here, but my words won't do it justice right now. I'm sleepy :D. I just had to get this out so I will remember to write the adventure some time later.

For now bullet points:
-Waiting for Danielle to get to our house.... past midnight... la la la
-Windy crazy narrow roads in the hills of Hollywood
-Fast driving
- Loud music
-The bladder-hold-of-the-century. I thought I would lose it in the car.
-Peeing IN a bush overlooking Universal City ;)
-More fast driving
-HOLLYWOOD sign!
-Colorful reflection and commentary
-A huge cloud behind the tower that looks like a complete galaxy (no joke- it was a huge spiral, absolutely stunning)
-Getting our brainwaves jumbled by electrohoosawhatsits from the crazy towers and satellites on top of the hill
-Drive home, Ryan's alternator kicks the bucket
-Sitting on the side of the 5-S.
-Calling Jacquee at 2:30am, which turned out I didn't need her :( I feel terrible for wakin' her.
-Riding with a kick ass tow truck driver
-Getting home safe
-Sealing the night ;)

Well, that's about it. It was definitely a fun evening. Jacquee, your honest concern for me when I called was appreciated, "Are you OK?" Instead of "Hello?". I love you so much girl. The next time I wake you up in the middle of the night it will be to kidnap you for your birthday. (Hey, that's not a bad idea...).

Night night, Hollywood.

Maturity? Growth? Wisdom? Irritating.

I. Am. Neurotic.


Jeeze, I just now figured it out.

Well, to be fair I am sure a lot of what goes on in my mind happens in other minds- but is it ALWAYS in the same dang order? My thought processes: beautiful, mythical, creational (is that even a word?), happy, fun, loving, etc... but wow...

I always break things down and build things in the same way.

Example:
I was folding clothes not ten minutes ago.

Big pile of clothes on the bed.

I pull out the dark towels first. Then the light. Then the white. Each I fold the exact same way.

Next, I hang assorted clothings (thank goodness I don't have the patience to pick the shirts out first, then pants, etc... this stuff I just go with whatever is on top). The kicker here though- they all face the same direction.

When I proceed to hang said same-way-facing-articles-of-clothing it's one pieces, long sleeves, mid sleeves, short sleeves, tanks, undertanks pants shorts skirts.

What's going on in my mind while I am doing this? Absolutely nothing that has to do with laundry.

I like it.

I do this with a buncha stuff. Like where I put my cards in my wallet, how I fold and count money, how I organize my art supplies. Lo and Behold...

Just one of those things that slipped my attention for 26 years.

I always believed I was a scatter brained, A.D.D.ing, kind of mind.

:::SIDENOTE (well, footnote):::
Neurotic was most likely the wrong word. The title has nothing to do with the post. This is quite possibly the lamest, most lame- excuse me, post I have written.

'Night.

A Most Thankful Thursday

Seeing as I missed last week's because I was on a stellar trip to Utah and back (in 3 days, hehe)... here's a mightier list of what I am thankful for.

1. Having the guts to email my dad after 2 years of not speaking
2. Dad responding back, and leading into a wonderful phone call
3. Starting work FOR REAL tomorrow!!
4. Random text messages from friends
5. My new white dress. Way sexy.
6. Matt, and his ability to always make me smile.
7. Wonderful dogs.
8. Good roommates.
9. Oober comfy bed
10. My art wall!
11. Fish Wrangler on Facebook. Way addicting, but I love it nonetheless.
12. AcidPro. I made my first song the other night, and Matt made one that's so good!!
13. Exclamation points. They never cease to make me read a sentence twice.
14. Having friends come back into my life, from the past.
15. Love! (and way good ::ahem:: sex)

Oh goodness... I should probably stop now before my mind starts wandering ::giggle::.

Thanks for tuning in. I hope you have a wonderful Thursday...and Friday... and Saturday... and you get the idea.

::high five::
GypsyGinn (trying out a new nickname)

Way to get all lovey and deep, Ginna....

Are you tired of all of those surveys made up by high school kids?! "Have you ever kissed someone? Missed someone? Told someone you loved them? Drank alcohol?"

Here are 38 questions for the people who are a little older.

1. What bill do you hate paying the most?
I don't "hate", to say, but really... do I have to pick ONE? My truck payment.

2. Where was the last place you had a romantic dinner?
Midway House- in February. Cody cooked dinner for all of us, with candles and side dishes and everything. The three roomy's ate together. It was amazing. Romantic doesn't always mean sexual.

3. What do you really want to be doing right now?
Making money, or spending money. Although I did just order business cards! ::giddy::

4. How many colleges have you attended?
2, ish. Fullerton JC and Animal Behavior College

5. Why did you choose the shirt that you have on right now?
It's not a shirt, it's a sexy one piece, terry cloth, bright green, bathing suit overall that I don't wear my bathing suit under ::wink:: OH- I chose it because it's been oober hot outside and it's sexy and comfortable. Best mix for clothing in my opinion.

6. What are your thoughts on gas prices?
::shrug:: I love my gas guzzling truck, I'll pay 'em.

7. First thought when the alarm went off this morning?
I didn't wake up to an alarm, I woke up to skin...

8. Last thought before going to sleep last night?
"Mmm. Yep."

9. Do you miss being a child?
Occasionally.

10. What errand/chore do you despise?
Taking the dogs out. It'll be nice when we have a fenced in yard and my boys don't have to be on a leash the whole time.

11. Get up early or sleep in?
Early is such a relative term. If one goes to sleep at 4am, 1pm may seem early....

12. Have you found real love yet?
All love is real love. Duh. ;) Of course I have. I'm full of it!

13. Favorite lunch meat?
Fish :) Weird, huh?

14. What do you get every time you go into Wal-Mart?
Clothing. $3, dang you!!

15. Beach or lake?
ANYTHING! I love water. What about rivers? They're nice too.

16. Do you think marriage is an outdated ritual?
Hm, kind of. Haven't really thought of it in that regard.

17. Sopranos or Desperate Housewives?
No thanks.

18. What famous person would you like to have dinner with?
Zooey Deschanel.

19. Have you ever crashed your vehicle?
Yes'r. Not my fault. Guy ran a red light at 70+ mph, I was going 50. No time for breaks. It's a wonderful gift everyone walked away from it.

20. Ever had to use a fire extinguisher for its intended purpose?
Nope.

21. Ring tone?
Something standard on my "It was the free one!" phone.

22. Strangest place you have ever brushed your teeth?
Sitting on top of our Uhaul trailer, alongside the GORGEOUS Kluane Lake in Yukon! :) It was a damned good trip.

23. Somewhere in California you've never been and would like to go?
...Well, considering I've been EVERYWHERE there is to be in California. No joke, I would say.... Sonora? I don't think I've been there....

23. Do you go to church?
Nope. Meditation is my church.

24. At this point in your life would you rather start a new career or a new relationship?
Career.

25. How old are you?
Ageless.

26. Do you have a go-to person?
Matthew pretty much holds this title, but Jacquee's been stepping up lately ;) Thank you so much my lady, I love you.

27. Are you where you want to be in life?
Of course! As long as you can be happy, that's where you should want to be.

28. Growing up, what were your favorite cartoons?
The Animaniacs.

29. What about you do you think has changed the most?
What a loaded question. My perception on life has been the same since I was a child. I believe the "thing" that has changed the most is my ability to accept, embrace, and love my perception. Before I wasn't sure if I was "right", or I was concerned about how people felt (no matter how much I appeared to not care what people think, I did, very much so...). I can dig deep and find the real me and be happy with it, or I can sit on the rim and see very much so the same. It feels nice.

30. Looking back at high school were they the best years of your life?
No, but they were definitely a lot of fun!

32. Did you ever own troll dolls?
Ya, but only because they were gifts... I was never a fan of their lidless stare.

33. Did you have a pager?
Yes, I did. 143.

34. Where was the hang out spot when you were a teenager?
Chino Spectrum! Hahaha Or my house.

35. Were you the type of kid you would want your children to hang out with?
Oh yes. I was a good influence, and kinda funny.

36. Who do you think impacted your life the most?
Myself. Mom. Dad. Nathan. Matt. Mike. Katie. Brandon. Jacquee. Chelsea (x2). Ayla. Josh. Chad. Lisa... The regular at Starbucks with the broken mug... would you like me to continue? I'd like to think that if a soul has crossed your thoughts more than a few times, they have impacted your life. Every decision is a life changing one.

37. Was there a teacher or authority figure that stood out for you?
...hm.

38. Do you tell stories that start with “when I was your age..."?
Ya, actually... It never fails to amuse me when an adorable 22 year old lady will tell me her life story and her opinions on it. Then not listen to me when I tell of mine.

Virginia's side note: What's your definition of wisdom? Maturity?

No, I Don't Feel Bad About It.

As far back as I can recall (we're talking childhood memories here) I have always wanted a big furry tail of my own. I think tails are a beautiful part of an animal's anatomy and I'm not ashamed to admit I have always been mildly jealous of animals with fluffy, soft, long tails.

Back in March I decided I wouldn't be ashamed of my fondness for tails, and tied a purple handkerchief around my back center belt loop. I have been growing more into the person I wish to be, and a large part of that is being comfortable in my own skin and being able to answer the question, "Why?" with confidence.

Why do I wear a tail?

Because I love it.

One of my favorite things is how I can feel the tip of the handkerchief lightly tapping my calves in a slow rhythm as I walk.

The point of this bloggity entry is simple (if you're hardcore anti-fur or a close minded fool please stop reading now because you may not understand where I am coming from). I am looking for a real tail. Something I can wear and be comfortable wearing. I understand that an animal has lost his/her life for the exploits of humans but how better to respect that animal than to LOVE, truly love, one part of its sacrifice? OK, perhaps sacrifice is the wrong word, but still... see what I am saying?

I happened across a few raccoon tails on my travels through Utah, but unfortunately they aren't long enough.

If it's weird, so be it. It's me and I like it. Nay, I love it. I love wearing my tail. Now, I just need to find one.

Thanks for tuning in. Feel free to berate me with hate if you think I'm awful. If you do- know that I will nod and respect you for your passion, but it doesn't change who I am, or my love for animals and my respect for those who hunt with purpose.

As with most professions, there are the folks who take advantage and the folks that truly feel they do the right thing. There people that Love what they do, and the folks that love them for being passionate.


iamhappy.

AAaah!!!

Alright, Virginia, calm down hun.


Why is she so excited (and for that matter why is she referring to herself in the third person?)?

Well, fellow bloggity people-

A few weeks ago I applied to almost 40 ads on craigslist.com for jobs resembling the "administrative assistant" position.

I have received ONE response. This ONE response was from a law firm I was highly interested in... Ironic? Or positive energy working its magic? I was/am so giddy I couldn't sleep passed 8am this morning! Hehe. I'm silly, but I am keeping a smile on my face and staying positive. This feels really good- and I have a strong will to keep my head on straight during the interview. I, as many of you know, have a tendency to get really excited and although "high-energy" was one of the requirements for the job, I don't think I should spoil all my efforts by jumping up and down in my seat after boss shows me to my desk...

I had a wonderfully beautiful dream last night, too. Thanks Mom for coming to say hi. Since when are ostriches your favorite bird?

I digress.

It's what I do.

Back to the point at hand: I am super excited. I am happy. I am keeping my head held high and my hopes firm in place. I am always hopeful. I am always positive. If it's meant to be (and I surely hope it is!) then it will be.

Wish me luck and send good vibes (yes- that's a demand). Love you, my friends.

::doesalittlehappydance::

Ambition, Tenacity, Dedication...

Every day since I have been unemployed hundreds of ideas have rushed through my head along the lines of, "What should I do today?"

I am fully aware that there are plenty of things I can do that cost little or no money at all.

For example:
1. Drawing
2. Skateboarding (or rather, learning how to)
3. Reading
4. Working out
5. Taking the puppies to the park
6. Working on my personal business Ultra Selects
7. Laying out in the sunshine
8. Swimming
9. Cleaning

See what I mean? My problem is, and always has been, lack of motivation. It's the first little step that is the hardest for me to take. I always make excuses for why I end up sitting on my butt behind a computer all day... It's pretty easy to make excuses...

1. Not inspired
2. Don't wanna hurt myself
3. Don't have a good book
4. No tapes, routines, or any idea what to do really....
5. Too hot
6. Not fun, after all, it is work
7. Boring
8. I have to hop the wall in and out of the pool because we don't have a key
9. Matt's still sleeping and I don't wish to wake him

So I sit here, on the super comfy couch, sipping iced coffee and writing this blog. Have I nothing better to do?

Why can't I just get up and be active? Why is it so hard for me to just do something? I've been having issues making decisions lately, too. Little ones, easy ones. Every day I feel pretty useless, pointless, and well... just not motivated to keep myself entertained.

I've been like this for as long as I can remember. Maturing is a funny thing because you begin seeing things in new (and sometimes mortifying) ways. I went to a bar the other night with some friends, and although I had a wonderful designated driver (Thank you Danielle) I didn't feel like drinking. There I was, sober, amongst drunk people. There was a young girl there who is wonderful, beautiful, but young... She is very smart and reminded me of myself when I was that age. Granted- I am not old by any means- but as far as maturity goes I have learned (and applied) endless amounts of knowledge in four years.

Oh wow, I'm babbling. See what happens when I am bored? Sorry that has no point :). I know there are some events going on today so I'm going to get myself up off the couch. Kind of a miracle, I know... but here I go...

T.T.

...ironically enough- that means Thankful Thursday not Taryn Travis ;)

I am thankful for
1. Being a very healthy individual.
2. Living daily without pain.
3. Being able to heal quickly.
4. Having a great pair of sexy legs.


This Thursday was all about me. Though I am thankful for so much more, and I say thankyou every day and truly mean it.... I had to write one for me.

::happydance::

The Run Around

Sick of it.


When you're hired somewhere, generally you expect to start working...am I right?

Not with thisplace apparently.

I was supposed to go in the afternoon on Tuesday to sign paperwork and make it all official. I showed up and apparently the general manager that hired me didn't leave ANY information about me to the other manager. I had my interview on Friday, June 19th. They told me to come and fill out paperwork on Tuesday June 30th. That in itself felt like a long time to wait.

So, when I went in to sign my papers, the manager told me they didn't have the hire packets and I would have to call the following morning to see when I should come in.

I did.

A not-so-nice lady told me I was coming in sometime next week.

Relatively devastated, I could only say, "Oh... Ok..." and hung up.

I called again at around 2:00pm and and was told that the GM is with his supervisor. Well, I told her to have him call me.

Which he did. I go in tomorrow at 2:00pm to sign my papers. I don't start work for a few weeks.

Ya, a few weeks. Awesome.

Effing stab in the heart.
Stab.
Stab.
Stab.







...It's not like I really need the money or anything ::sigh::.

...thebeach

I am so inlove.


Absolutely in love with the beach and the ocean. Water is my energy element, so it's only natural I want to spend every day absorbing the glorious sunshine and oceanic power.

::BIG GRIN::

(OK on a side note I am watching The Devil Wears Prada. Admittedly- it's awesome. I want more shoes, and purses, and jackets, and....well....you get it :D )

Burn

I was telling a story. I was holding a hot lighter in my hand.

End result?

You Decide:

(A) A really cool little (by "little" I mean the exact crescent shape the hot metal top of a generic bic lighter makes when pressed moderately on one's sensitive inner elbow area) scar.

(B)A really cool little* scar.

Please submit your answer before 1200pm June 30th, 2009. Expect result by 1200pm July 1, 2009 . Thank you for your time.




*little: Exact crescent shape the hot metal top of a generic Bic lighter makes when pressed moderately on the sensitive inner elbow area of the arm.






....

Clarification:

Apparently by saying, "I think I'm going back to the old colors. This blue, blue...." I meant something along the lines of, "Blue sucks, Green is better."

::nod::

I think I'm going back to the old colors. This blue, blue, blue, on blue layout doesn't work.

My apologies for the incohesive transition.

Thankful Thursday

Seeing as it's been a week since I have posted last, I feel it's only appropriate to post what I am thankful for...

1. Talking with long lost friends!! I love you Martha!
2. Having a wonderful boyfriend, he brought his xbox downstairs so he could sit right next to me because my internet doesn't work upstairs. :)
3. Sunshine.
4. Vince. He is by far the most amazing creature I have ever known. Such a good dog. Thanks for loving me back boy.
5. And Jubs, always good for a laugh, because he's not really a dog, he's a dust mop.

Thankful Thursday

Inspired by the beautiful Taryn herself-

I am thankful for:
1. Those who understand me (or try).
2. Living ten minutes from the dog beach.
3. Having a wonderfully gregarious three year old.
4. Sunshine.
5. Our Yamaha R6.
6. My job interview tomorrow at 3pm!!!

Useless

Man, being jobless totally blows. No joke- it sucks.

At first, it's like, "Hey! Cool! Sleep in, throw some applications around, do some resume refining..." so on and so forth. Well, I have done all that. I kid you not in combination of online applying (which is worthless), running into places, or thankfully have references I have applied to almost FORTY places. FORTY!! All claiming to be NOW HIRING.

Their signs or ads should read, "We REALLY need someone, but it'll be about three weeks before we get around to calling you, so APPLY TODAY!"


Jerks.

::sigh:: Alright, it's really not that bad. I just get frustrated. As I am sure you can understand. Let's just cross our fingers and hope something comes up, fast.... please.....

I must admit...

...I'm proud of you, for whatever reason. I have an idea of how you feel about me, but yet I have always loved you. If you dislike (or don't respect) me- so be it. Even so, you may believe this is something for attention, but know- you ARE amazing. You ARE beautiful.... and I think it's super effing awesome you did the Naked Bike Ride last weekend. Mad props.

The Place

Matt and I have found a place to live! OMG what?


Anyway, we were in a flurry because it was almost impossible to find a place that's not an apartment... let alone a place without a deposit and doesn't care about dogs.

Well, fortune smiled upon us! Of course- it always does. A couple of folks I knew from Disney had a master room open up and guess what, they are all for the dogs and don't need a deposit!! Woohoo.

When we first saw the place it was VERY dirty! The shower alone was really gross and the kitchen was in shambles. We both knew it was our best option and really had no other choice (unless we wanted to stay in an RV, which wasn't awful by any means but certainly not something easy to maneuver around in with two puppies.). I know myself- and I know Matt- so we decided to take it.

We moved our stuff in yesterday and Monday. It's still in a pile in the middle of the room, but it's a start.

Last night, one of the roommates that was out of town when we saw the place, cleaned the kitchen. It's a million times better!! Our bathroom was also sorta cleaned. Hehe. I took a vacuum to EVERY crevice I could find and I still have some more to do but I am unmotivated right now. I have even scrubbed the bathroom floor and have plans of my own for the shower. I want this place clean enough for Trev to come and visit. I know it will be. The guys like it clean, they just need someone to start the process and then they help it move along (so I have noticed).

In other news Matt's out of town until Sunday. He's going to miss Trevor's birthday party which sucks, but he'll get to go to his little brother's party instead. Happy birthday Glenn(jamin)!

This will be our first time apart since we've been together (I know, I know wah-wah-boo-hoo-get-over-it), and I miss him like crazy already. We're magnets for each other. I haven't been as drawn to someone, not blood related, as I am him.

Hopefully I can clear my head enough to get some work done. I am hoping one of my friends will want to hang out or something (but they'll have to come to me, I have no gas money until Friday hehe).

As far as job hunting goes- it sucks. 90% of the places make me apply online. My resume isn't anything fancy. It's me that gets the jobs, not words on a screen or paper. I know that everything will work out as it should. I have a job opportunity (thankyou Brandon) in Corona but it's FORTY miles away from here. I literally just CAN'T do it.

I'm actually hoping for Disney again. I loved that job except for all the BS from management and the other people working there. I have grown up a great deal since I have worked there *gasp, really?* and I think things will work out. Plus I am in the best shape I have been in thanks to my winter extravaganzas.

Trevor's birthday is on the 16th!! He is going to be THREE! I am so proud of the little boy Trevor is. He is brilliant, and full of love. He is always forgiving. His memory is spectacular. He never wants me to leave so I know he still loves me no matter what. We'll work something out where I can have him over more, or see him more- just me and him. I know things in Alaska didn't work out for a reason. That reason? Trevor. Or at least that's what I think the reason is. It makes sense, but we can't really tell can we?

Gosh, life is amazing. Embrace it. Grow. Learn. Live. Love. Respect. Treasure. Most of all though? Be Happy.

Alright.

I won't be so vague :).
------


As life changes we often find ourselves at crossroads we never imagined we'd face. When you're walking down the aisle to a pretty (or in my case, funky) song and all the planning has finally come to life, the last thing on your mind is, "I might not be with this person forever." That thought usually comes into fruition once you've lived with the person a few years, and even though you love them- it's just not meant to be.

Everyday is a battle in your heart and mind, but mostly- your soul.

Everyday you lie. Everyday. To yourself, to your partner, to your friends. To.... everything. Your thoughts deceive you. Your image in the mirror scowls at you for being a fool. Your heart cries. Your mind analyzes ways to get out. Your soul? Wanders.

The time between sleep and wake, laying next to another living being potentially oblivious to your predicament, is used for escape. Dreaming of far away lands, past and future excitement.... anything that could possibly make you smile. When you roll over and put your body against the other's.... it is hot, but cold. Nothing but a void.

What happened? Were you too blind in the beginning? Perhaps, but it's too late for that now.

As you toss and turn thoughts in your mind, a turbulence of pain and loss, sacrifice and regret smack you in the heart repeatedly.

Therapy? Divorce? Years of attempting to influence your soul when you know very well it's more stubborn than your physical form...? You can't talk about it to anyone. You don't want to be a fool, or wrong, or hear "I told you so."

Especially from your dad.

He did tell you so.

It's not like your partner is a jack-ass.... no... that would make this all easier. It would be easy to walk away from a deadbeat. It would be easier to accept you're not in love with them anymore.

Not for you.

As each day gets exceptionally longer and harder, you fight within yourself to remain positive and not hurt the ones you love, especially your child- you owe it to them to be responsible. You are responsible and mature.

Then why do you feel so little? Why do you feel so estranged and gullible? Why do you feel lost?

Why do you feel like it was easier being sixteen?

Because it was.

Faced with agony everyday, faced with evils you never thought existed in your mind. Anger, hate, darkness hiding just under your skin waiting for a moment to strike. Then it happens and your slight hold on reality snaps. You beat something. Never, ever your child! But you beat something, alive, until your eyes burn from raging tears and your hands hurt from smacking energy out of a living soul.

You are broken. You are lost.

You are gone.

Days pass slowly.

With pleas for help to your partner they are left dumbfounded. They can't help you. "We'll get you help."

Your mind races, "Why can't YOU help me? Isn't that what you are supposed to do?"

Desperation colors your skin red matching your eyes and the hate for what you have become. You have become a far cry from yourself just two years ago.

You need to get out. You need to leave.

So you leave your body behind and become a zombie of sorts for a little while. Flickers of happiness allow for a moment here and there of something other than just existing as a shell. Tending to your child in a practical manner, making sure they are fed and entertained, safe and as quiet as possible.

It's hard to love at this point. It's hard to do anything but sit and stare.

Before the situation in your heart explodes a needle and thread are given to you. The rips in your being can be sewn if you just let it happen. Just let it happen.

So you do. One night, it just takes one night. You cry, a lot. You confide in someone who is practically a stranger and in return this stranger, this beautiful creature, holds you. Just, holds you.

Salvation.

Hours and hours pass and the sun begins to rise. With a smile, a real smile, you wipe your face and cheeks of tears and thank this angel. Your guardian, the one who has saved you in one act of kindness.

An act of kindness is not all this one has to offer.

Your confidence rebuilds and you can once again feel like your soul is connected to your physical form. You are not just cells and water.

You are you.

What now?

The reality sets in that you are not in the right place. You are not in alignment. The guardian insists on helping you heal- and you are happy alowing them to walk alongside you. The guardian holds your hand when you are scared to face pain and heal it. The guardian never leaves you wondering if you're doing the right thing.

You are doing the right thing by letting this angel, this guardian, into your life and soul. Into your heart- into your love.

And into love you fall. Not blindly. Not easily. You just keep falling, and this savior is always there to look into your eyes and reciprocate your true love. The one who could. The one who did. The one who is.

The one you are meant to be with.

Oh Mercy....

Life is always, always interesting.


Yep.

California

Crappy highways, lots of traffic, smog, and Spanish everywhere.



I'm home.


Damn it feels nice.

The trip to California

I currently sit next to a couple missionaries, here at Aunt Julie's house, on Memorial Day weekend.

It's a beautiful 80+ degrees outside, here in Zillah, Washington. We had a wonderful dinner, delightful company, and fun entertainment last night. I love Aunt Julie and Thomas, they are definitely a good little family.

We will be back soon to see them, that's for sure.

We planned to get up at about 9am to journey further south and make it as far as we could before finding a place to sleep. I suggested that since we'll be taking the coastal route south of Santa Cruz (1, here we come!) we should CAMP in one of the lil campgrounds dotted along the gorgeous coast. I am thinkin' Big Sur... We'll see. We have a nice big tent we can put up, and our puppies will be happy they can run around more before bedtime.

I can't wait to be close to the ocean again. It's definitely my home.

When I saw, and felt, the ocean in Anchorage I cried because I was so happy. It reminded me I had been away from it for far too long.

California here we come, right back where we started from....

When one CAN breathe....

It's nice to know.... wait, strike that....


It's AMAZING to know I have a place, we have a place, to go. I can't even think straight. I only slept for about 4 hours last night (not due to stress, just due to not wanting to sleep) and as I was passed out on my bed in the middle of the day I received a call that changed the entire course of my day, week, etc...

-----
You have practically saved my life. I know we could have found something in Utah, but only after hotel hopping and spending a fortune on payday loans, etc. I can't even begin (OK that's a lie- I can begin and actually have begun) to thank you so much. I will thank you every day. I will thank you for the rest of my life, I will always be in your debt, and you should know I have cried at least seven times because of your generosity. You are bringing me closer to our ultimate goal... but most of all... closer to home.

It's going to feel really good to be home, I know it. And you, Jake, have helped us out more than you may know. I love you so much, and always will.

Even though we didn't talk on the phone or email everyday, see each other all the time, stay connected at the hip, or even stay as connected as we could have- we are still the closest we can be. You can depend on me for anything. If there is ever something you may need, Jacquee, my love, you know you don't even have to ask... I will be standing there in front of you with my arms outstretched for a big hug, and then whatever it is you need.

I can't wait to be (physically) close to you again! You are such a beautiful person inside and out (how cliche but how perfect). Thank you.

Thank you.
Thank you.


Thank you,
Ginna

On the road again....

We're gettin' out of Alaska. Things just weren't feeling right at all, and frankly we were tired of feeling like the outsiders trying our hardest, and getting shot down for it.


Just not right. We're leaving in a few days, after our last paychecks come in. We were hoping to shoot all the way down to southern CA but unfortunately we don't have a place to stay. We're going to spend some time in Walla Walla, WA at Aunt Julie's house to get our bearings and make a plan.

Alaska just wasn't meant to be. In the most obvious sense. People just didn't have to be so cold and immature. We tried to make it our home, and for a little while it felt like things could be awesome...

::sigh:: Always an adventure

Currently....

It's kinda hard to breathe.


Awesome.

Crab legs

Surprisingly easy, easy to cook!


Hooray for deliciously, delightful, yummeh dinners at midnight hehe.

more photos here :)

enjoy friends.

Friends,

Thank you!!

For those of you who stopped by to assure me you are still here.

::wipes away a tear:: I love you!


And now.... A story about Alaska...
-------------------------

The wind whistled through the vents on my helmet as Matt accelerated gracefully onto the bumpy "Seward Highway". It still felt like it was 70 degrees outside, even with the wind rushing my body at 65 mph. The sky held her blue tone with pride and swept away any clouds before they could intrude on her immaculate day.
Riding the bike with Matt is such a wonderful feeling. I don't worry. I don't get scared... I think. I observe. I love. I respect.

The highway made a big sweeping turn and then dipped under an "overpass". A train of thought danced inside my mind and before I could think, "I wonder how close we are to the ocean..." THERE IT WAS. Big. Beautiful. Perfect. On our right- a massive stretch of choppy dark water. The bay followed our winding two lane highway, dancing waves crashing lightly on the jagged rocks below us. The most breathtaking, wonderful, thing... making it different from anywhere else I have ever been- mountains. Across the bay were large, rocky mountains rising straight out of the ocean. I have never seen anything like it.

I couldn't peel my eyes away. OK, that's a lie, I could and did. On the other side of the OCEAN were big hills. There were turn-outs galore, and national parks everywhere. At least one waterfall every mile, some only a short walk between.

As I let the slow tears roll down my cheeks I wondered if Matt felt any where close to how I was feeling. I squeezed him for a few minutes in what I think of as "I love you so much, and I love your bike, too" hug he pulled into one of the turn outs and stopped the bike. We sat there for a minute in awe of the Alaska coastline and both agreed it's going to be spectacular when everything turns green.

I laughed because I was crying from the beauty and the grass is still brown and none of the trees have leaves! LOL. I'm a goob.

After admiring the scenery for a few more minutes Matt looks at me and asks cutely, "Wanna keep going?"

"Hell yes."

--------------------------------------


So we rode down to Girdwood and back. It was such a gorgeous day with many more to come. We saw a bunch of different kinds of bikes and look forward to making some new friends.

Thanks for tuning in. Love you Alaska. Too bad we're working for a BS company, with the most tools I have ever had the "pleasure" to work with. Crazy.

-Virginia

Not really sure...

So I am not really sure who reads my blog anymore. I haven't heard from anyone since I started blogging again- so if you're stopping by please drop me a comment to say hello. I would like to think that my words aren't just drifting through the netherregions of the internet all by themselves, lol.


The chaos of Anchorage has subsided a bit. Due to my immense talent of remaining positive I am happy. I have almost completed the unpacking/moving in stage. The kitchen table still has a buttload of stuff on it, but in comparison to the clusterfest that was our living room- I can at least breathe easier now (and not worry about my dogs getting into things they shouldn't!).

I'm kinda sad, though, because ALL our windows and our sliding glass door don't have screens. Why am I sad about this? I am a fresh-air-fanatic and because there are so many, many, many, mesquitoes up here (not yet, but eventually) I can't get my fresh air without applying deet from head to toe even though I'm not leaving the apartment! heh.

Also, I have gone from an outdoor-on-my-feet-all-day job to a sit-on-my-butt-inside job. It's weird. I feel like I am gaining weight and getting mushier with every passing minute (now, now... I didn't say "getting fat" so don't assume that's what I meant). There's a little work-out place attached to the GOOD apartments but that means I would have to go over there early and all that stuff... which also means it's not happening. I'm a little too lazy. I know that forfeits all my rights to complain about the impending doom of extra pounds, but I'm not terribly worried about it. Just... blabbering I guess....

Woo. Anyway.

The new puppy is doing so great!! I couldn't have asked for a better lil shiht than JubJub. The best thing about him is when I pick him up he completely relaxes so I can make him dance or play with his ears and he doesn't care. I'm evil :).

I guess that is all for now. It's kinda chilly so I am going to turn the heat up and snuggle on the couch until Matt gets off work.

Peace~!

Photos and stufff....

Ok, just photos... with more to come...

I am working on organizing them. Most of them need some dire editing, but at the same time I like them raw. Most of them were taken through my windshield so it adds a little flavor.

They are posted on my flikr site, with a link on the right side of this here bloggadoo's layout.

Peace!

No Sarah Palin sightings yet- I will let y'all know when I get to witness the great stupidity in person.

Anchorage

Wet, light, and cold.... so far :)

The apartments are really nice, and all of my co-workers are cool. My pups are happy just to be out of the truck, but despite that- it was an awesome trip. I have many, many, many pictures to post on flikr.

Everyone did great on the drive. It was my first time going to another country, and I am glad the transition went smoothly, hehe. We spent about an hour in Canadian customs with our trailer being midly searched (they just opened the back looked in, then went through my purse and stuff) and about two minutes in US customs. I was glad to be back on our soil. We didn't even have to get out of our truck, lol...

"Do your dogs have their shots?" Asks the older US border patrol gentleman through the window.

"Yes, would you like to see their papers?"

::pause:: "Nah.... I believe you. Have a safe trip, oh and you might wanna sign your passport there Virginia...."

We laughed and drove off. That easy. I think it's a requirement to not have a sense of humor if you work in Canadian customs. Granted, I have never been through any other customs so maybe it's just how all Americans are treated?

Anyhoo... I have the internet now so I can once again chat online, send pictures, and all that wonderful goodiness. Sorry it's been a couple months since I have been connected to some of you. I miss everyone, and I think about you guys all the time.

To those of you who are sticking it out, and riding through my virtual nonexistence- THANK YOU!!!

Until we meet again,
Virginia

Washington

We made it to Washington... not quite to Canada yet.

It's been a super fun trip so far :) Of course! I've met assorted Deason family members, and have bonded with our new puppy Jubjub. Who says long road trips can't be super-oober fun?

It's time to watch Stardust, then get some sleep. Night all....

I will write again in Alaska (seeing as I probably won't have internet on the awesomeness that is the Alaska highway)... Many many pictures to come on flikr and stuff.

Thanks for tuning in, sorry for the random-lots-of-time-in-between-posts.

Adventure...

Being without internet certainly has its advantages in daily activities, yet once I hop back online for a limited amount of time I feel so rushed, and like I can't connect the way I am supposed to. Hehe.


I feel as though my dearest friends have been left out, seeing as I hate talking on the phone and the best ways to communicate with me are: in person, text, or email.


Rrrrright.


So, Matt, Vinciepup, and I are going to Anchorage, Alaska for the summer to work (and experience). I am so freakin' excited. The trip up and down itself is going to be of epic proportions.

Needless to say- it's going to be awesome.

If anyone of you has ever wanted to visit Alaska now you have an excuse (and a couch to crash on).

Miss you guys.
I'm outty.

Washington, DC

....maybe?

Byebye Grandma....

You are missed. You are loved.


Here I come Missouri.


::sigh::

nnointernetty

Not having the internet DEFINITELY wears on me.


How sad is that? My apologies to those who wish to hear tidbittles on interesting things now and again... and to those who do not wish to hear these things, why are you still reading my blog?

::high five::
-Virginia,
theunbreakabledragon

Hi.

My name is Virginia, and I am an adult. Believe it or not I am mature. My decisions are not impulsive.

If you choose to believe I am a selfish, bad person, so be it. Drop me from your life and I shall show the same "respect" and drop you from mine. Pity, I guess.

Experience

You know when you get to try something new and you really like it and all you can do is think about it? Such as rock climbing, snowboarding, sushi, etc...?

That's me and skiing. I am SO VERY glad that this year it's not "let's go for 3 days and ski again in 6 years." Matt takes it personally that I LOVE skiing, and only like snowboarding (he swears one day I am just going to fall in love with it... we'll see...I promised I would give it a fair chance), but I told him at least I can keep up with him on skis!

The only real point of this blog post is to retell myself that I am so in love with skiing. I am good. Dang good. I went yesterday, for fun by myself and pushed a little bit harder than I normally do. I sped up, remained in control, and felt exhilarated.

I guess that means it's only faster from here ;)... anyone wish to contribute to the "Virginia Needs A Helmet" fund? Hahaha.

Cheers,
V

Happy New Year

Here's sort of an update... of sorts... sort of... well, you get the idea....


I just about lost it today before work. I felt off- like- icky but not quite on the verge of sick. I tried calling in but my boss said, "Oh don't tell me you are calling in sick! We DOUBLED our sales yesterday over last year and we only have THREE photographers on the mountain today.. I need you!!"

So, I dragged my sorry butt to work (I wasn't even late or anything). Shot a few families, then left early.

Matt took really good care of me when I got home, and frankly I would have sunken into a dark abyss if it weren't for his warm arms.... well... his warm arms or the great sushi I had for dinner. One of the two.

(Side story [hooray?]: About 4 years ago I tried sushi for the first time and almost barfed it was so disgusting. I vowed myself off it and never wanted to try it again. After being repeatedly told it's "VERY DELICIOUS" I decided I would give it another try. Why not? So, at my work's xmas party my regional manager made some. It. Was. Perfection. Point of side story: I am addicted.)

The only reason I had sushi (very, very GOOD sushi) tonight was because I am top sales for my shop right now, and got a killer bonus. Huzzah for making money on my days off! I decided since I was "less healthy," better known as, "feeling like shit" and had some extra cash- I would treat.

And, Oh what a treat.


Anyhoo... I skied my first black diamond yesterday. Toot toot. Again- addicted.

Christmas is officially postponed until January 25th, and New Years is respectfully the 31st. Trevor and Nathan were up for the "real" holiday and it was great seeing Trev's eyes light up when he opened his presents (Thank you sis, he loves his projector books). He was also very determined to put the little colorful balls on the lights of our spiral ::coughghettocough:: tree.




I have made some amazing friends up here, too. The "breed" of people drawn to this area are generally really awesome people!

In other news:
I am very, very happy. I never said this has been an easy process, but with a little extra effort any situation has the potential to be beneficial (and lucrative!). I 100% believe in the power of positive energy and thoughts. I have conquered my fears (every. single. one.), I have begun to understand the universe, in my own way of course. I have felt bigger, more, better, and any other adjective along the same lines, than I ever have before- including love.

To the readers:
Thanks for tuning in. Sorry I haven't been updating as I should- but when life hands me lemons I grab the salt and say bottoms up! Here's to happiness, love, strength, and well-being.

Cheers...