Tuesday, June 14, 2011

Goin' to California with an achin' in my heeeeart...

Everything is coming up so fast... six weeks is not a long time.

Holy crap, we move to California in six weeks.

Ah yes... Matt and I have made the big decision to move back to California.  I really need to be closer to Trevor- it's breaking my heart and soul to be so far away from him.  It's the right time to make this move.  I know it.  Well, I HAVE to tell myself I know this.

Let's face it- I moved to Utah and fell in love.  I finally felt like I was free of the anguish that tangled me up in all the negative energy that strangles California (woah, what a loaded sentence).

Perhaps.... yes, perhaps I am strong enough now to take California head on.  To face new challenges and move above and beyond all the petty BS that is the society & economy.  I do have a certain level of angst and fear going into this move, as we will be left with virtually no funds, and currently haven't found jobs or a home...

...Hey didn't I say I was trying to be positive?  Ya, about that...

Switching subject: A telephone conversation (for lack of a better word) a couple nights ago left me shaking and overwhelmed.  I finally broke my barrier of control and let EVERYTHING out.  I said EVERYTHING I wanted to say.  Oh dear me, a lady would never expel such things.

Good thing I'm not much of a lady (unless the occasion calls for it, but I digress).

The general outcome of all this is really really positive.  It wasn't easy to hear some things that were said, nor was it easy to say things I said.  What's done is done.  Hopefully from here on out things will be a little, eh, easier.  I know it's just a Band-Aid brand bandage on a seething wound but perhaps with proper care and time the wound will just become a scar?

Oh metaphors.  So fun.

In other news I've finally knocked down my artists' block.  Thank goodness.  I have a feeling MAKING myself do something original for my resume is the kick starter.  I'm feeling all rejuvenated and creative and junk.  Ya, well, maybe mostly junk.

I've got ads to scour and laundry to attend, so I will leave y'all ("you all" for the anti-slang fans) with a parting ditty:

...nope, got nothing.  Told ya, mostly junk.