Tuesday, April 15, 2008

The Power

At my wits end, I paced my room and tried not to hyperventilate.

I wished I could hear something beside my uneven breathing and thoughts racing with disdain and regret.

All I could do was text my best friend and plead for something to keep me in line.

The wind was racing outside- like it, too, was trying to find an escape.

I turned toward the door and decided to just think of the wind... and go outside. There is electricity and energy found on windy days that is scarce when it's still. I prayed to the Earth hoping its elements would bring me back together.

Once outside, I began petting Vince and he was restless as well. He gets stuck outside 75% more when they are here because...

...I digress....back to story...

I was sitting outside petting Vince when I glanced left and there they were. Two tiny birds laying still on the concrete. I practically broke the sound barrier running over to them.

Hummingbirds. Beautiful. One male and one female. They must have been mates...

As I was examining them the male twittered a bit. He opened and blinked his eyes! I smiled from inside out. As I fought Vince off the poor deceased female, I delicately picked the male up and placed him in my left palm.

He stayed there in my hand, alive. Blinking his eyes.

I talked to him, pet him, held him close. I don't know much about birds (OK, I barely know anything) but because of my current state of being it seemed like I could feel his pain for losing the other bird.

I felt it. It may have been my imagination, my need for connection, whatever... but I definitely felt something.

It was amazing. I cried a little (maybe a lot), and before I knew it he had perked up. He moved his head around and then he looked right at me. He stared for a moment. I couldn't help but smile.

He flew away.

I feel I saved his life. I know if I hadn't gone outside Vince would have had his way with them. He is a dog after all.

I have never in my life felt that feeling before. It was wonderful holding him in my hand until he felt comfortable enough to leave. I can only imagine how the people who foster, rescue, help wild animals every day feel.

Maybe it's time to find a better hobby.


2 comments:

  1. Maybe you should start fostering...
    *winknudge*

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  2. The fact that the bird didn't fly away immediatly, or just die right there in your hand is amazing. It was like you both made an impact on each other across species lines, without communicating. He/She felt things were going to be alright with just a few moments in your hand. You were like God to that bird, and you needed to know that you had the capability to be that powerful to something else in the world. To be able to step outside your own worries and help something live. That is amazing.

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