Monday, January 17, 2011

Useless

This weekend was terribly boring. I had absolutely no motivation to do anything.

I also had no where I had to be... nothing I really had to do.

So, I did nothing.

OK, so I watched movies and TV all day, but seriously? I didn't really even eat.
Why didn't I write?
Why didn't I draw?
Why didn't I clean?
Why didn't I organize something?

Why didn't I go for a walk?
Why didn't I MAKE something for me to do?

I just sat, or laid, around feeling bored and lazy.
Let's just say today, Monday, I am feeling the same way- only I am obligated to be at work. I am obligated to work... yet here I am blogging.

What's going on? I see these things in front of me... I think they are called options... but I ignore them, and take literally the easiest way. Just the last few days mind you. But still.

Uh... why? I can't even really say why. I am feeling excessively lazy and like the world owes me something- even though that's not right. I know that's not right, I shouldn't feel like anyone owes me anything, because they don't. But here I am- complaining at work, complaining at home, complaining to myself because no one wants to hear my pity party invitations read out loud.

I am not having a pity party... I just... well, I guess I'm just not in a very good mood. Hopefully something will change soon or I might start to worry. This sucks. In my head I can think all sorts of things... you know, like: "It would feel great to take Vince on a long walk and let him sniff everything he wants" but out loud I'll say (to myself): "But Jubs HATES the cold and I have to DRAG him to get him to walk with me and if I leave him home alone he'll just BARK and WHINE the whole time".

Excuses are fun aren't they? No, you're right- they're not. They're not even good.

Oh well. Turn around mood! Turn around! Grr!