Monday, November 28, 2011

Disturbed

Holiday commercials of cheer and love
Families hugging, laughing, eating, etc
Joyful children, games, all of it.

I had that.

No longer are the holidays a cherished time for me
More like a slowly turning knife in my heart

Every year I think the next one will be easier...
"Next Christmas will be different..."

*sigh*

I suppose the miracle will come one day... But sadness is surrounding me during this season and I can't seem to shake it.

Too many things stacking the odds.

The little things slip by barely noticed. The big things aren't big enough or miss their mark completely...

Positivity is difficult and feels utterly fruitless.

A tough time in the mind of this complicated lady... A tough time indeed.