Good Morning

The Undone

Which is that of the one undone?
Whistle my ear or rhythm my drum?
Emotion vibration if down it will go...
To end which this is the quest to know.
In thinking my thoughts be they wary or weak
I find it endearing amidst the defeat.
Standing there grinning
Tilting and winning-
Wave of wondering: Complete.

Survival

Hi everyone.

It's definitely been a while since I've written.  Hey- I never promised regular entries, though I may have hinted at it on occasion.

Here's one for you. :)

You know how life likes to become extraordinarily challenging from time to time?  You know... to make sure you're still paying attention?  That's what's going on right now in my little world.

Thanks Life, it's a good thing I like you.

Is all that vague enough for you?  I'm REALLY trying to be positive if it wasn't obvious.  Things are pretty tough right now in my body, mind, and soul.  This huge change has... well... it definitely tilted my security.  I'm off.  Distracted.  Feeling stranded, dependent, sad, confused, frustrated and just plain bad.

I shouldn't!!!  Duh.  I have a roof over my head, I have a good job, I have family, I have a beautiful son, a wonderful boyfr... ugh OK you guys get it.  Said it before and all that junk.

Anyway...

Once things smooth out (oh please oh please I hope they do soon!!!) I'll be able to gain a different perspective on all this, and in turn one can hope to learn and grow from it all.  The usual Lifetime Drama storyline, minus the neighbor with down syndrome and the little brother who is struggling to make friends in his new school.

It's not Thursday, but maybe a smooshing of things I am thankful for in this next paragraph will help with my trek in the right direction. Alrighty:

living above the city & being able to see the stars - my favorite voice singing & telling me he loves me over & over & over on the phone every night - unconditional, true, love - a great job that i am really good at - old friends - new friends- the "quiet car" on the train - getting better at holding my tongue - being able to think of things i am thankful for even though it's so easy to get pissed off at everything - kind "family" - helpful friends - readers who get this far into my blog (hey, thanks by the way...) - breath in my lungs, strength in my muscles, will power - a tv that also functions as an awesome computer monitor - healthy food - free stuff - motorcycles that run - the best dog in the world - aaaaaaand....

LIFE.

Oh yes Life, that's right I am thankful for you.  During a spell of negativity I found myself wishing I could be like a fox, or ant, or bird, or any non-domesticated creature for that matter.  Their sense of purpose is simple.  They have the same goal every day.  No need to question themselves.  No need to wonder, "Why has this happened to me?"  The weight of free will doesn't exist in their lives.  Imagine that.

Truth is, wasting your time daydreaming about being somewhere else or being someone else doesn't change a damn thing.  Just makes you feel worse.  I am an advocate for "The Secret" also known as the Law of Attraction so if I stay in this dark place more dark things will happen.  I know this.  I am trying!  Well, maybe I am.  It feels like I am... but ya know, it would be nice if things would just fall into place already!!

OH SNAP!

Well, the move....

it has...

happened.

Kind of a trip, ya know? We're here, and most of the "important stuff" has been taken care of.  There are a few more things that have to happen before we can begin our lives as normal but baby steps are in order.

Speaking of baby steps, I just got off the phone with Trevor.  Oh my heart.  Harmony in laughter.  The smiles and laughter that are brewed in his soul are priceless ad timeless.  Truly a many splendorous thing! (Doesn't that saying really go, "...a many splendored thing" ?  Apparently "splendored" isn't a real word...?)

I digress, though you catch my drift right?

The transition is a tough one.  Things are seemingly alright on the outside, but hopefully familiarity does not breed contempt in this case.  It's tight quarters and family.  It'll be interesting.  I have good faith in the guys, and mostly it's just a test of personal patience.

A big test.

It will be OK.  Ya know, duh.  Just gotta breathe.

In


and



Out


...nice and slow.

Perhaps it's a good lesson for when my son is a teenager?  This experience will give me some insight into almost-adults, and hopefully help me build a stronger relationship with Trevor  (Oh look, there I go looking at the bright side again).

Life is good, just gotta take it one moment at a time.

Thanks for tuning in, my friends. Until next time- Don't forget to take a moment to breathe.

Sincerely,
Vi

Happening.

Last day of work, reserved trailer, over stuffed heavy boxes...

Oh dear.

This is really happening! Ah!

All good things are happening. It's terribly exciting; riding along the rip tide of chaos and order.

Side note- every time I use a semi colon I think of my friend Josh, and his disdain for them.

Back to things at hand...

There is still a general feeling of anxiety hovering over me, but having a man like mine by my side makes everything worth it.  And I'm not just saying that to be sappy, it's most definitely the truth.  One lucky lady I am.

Gah, sorry I blab on about him too much sometimes ;)

It was hard to say goodbye to my friends at work, and when the time comes it'll be hard to say it to the roomies. 

It's been a really good stretch. The last three years have been incredible, to say the least. There are brilliant folks here I will cherish forever, always consider good friends. I miss 'em already!

Ah, c'est la vie! Non?

California here I come... Right back where I started from!

Sincerely,
Vi

Oh Hai.

Things are happening.   Oh, dumb statement of the century.

Got my training dates (eeeep!), reserved the trailer, packed pretty much everything we can (& ran out of boxes x__x ), so on and so forth...

This is all really happening.  The flip flopping from excited to anxious is wearing me out.
Trying to take it one day at a time- actually one moment at a time- has been helping.

I've also been meaning to change my layout.  I'm not in love with it.  I don't really even like it... so sorry guys.

Blessings and love to those enduring Irene right now.  Stay safe and dry!

There's nothing really interesting for me to talk about at the moment.  I'm sorry.  Mostly I just wanted to post something.  There will definitely be a period of non-posting when I move to CA because the internet where we will be staying is... for lack of a better word... crappy.

Eh, enough whining and complaining.  I hope you are feeling well and that sort of mumbo jumbo.  Much love, readers.

Sincerely,
Vi

Hello A.D.D.

Today is Friday.

Disney has not called me back to let me know when my training starts but both my current job, and Matt's current job NEEDED to know when our last day is- so we told them.  Aug. 31.

THAT IS SO VERY SOON.

The anxiety is piling up again but right now it's in the form of severe A.D.D. at work.  I am trying my hardest to get my tours edited and get home so I can help PACK and organize storage and you know- all that stuff.

Ahhhhhhh!  Mini freak out!

OK, I'm back.  Sorry... had to do that for a second.  In other news Trevor had his back to school night last night.  It really drives me nuts that I missed it.   I'm trying not to let it bother me because, well, there's no point in letting it bother me.  Duh.  It's in the past.  Can't change it and all that jazz.  I will hopefully be hearing from his dad today so we can talk about how it went.  Seriously, he seems less than interested in Trevor's education when it's pretty much one of the most important things I can think of for him.  I was beyond giddy meeting his kindergarten teacher, finding out what he would be learning, and all that- but his dad seemed... well.. bored and uninterested.  It is what it is.  It'll be good for me to be in CA so I can help Trevor focus on other things than TV hehe.  I remember watching a great deal of TV as a kid, so I won't be too hard on him, but getting him outdoors and helping him learn about the world around him is such an exciting thought!

Eh what else?

Matt's bike is officially totaled.  He was rear ended last week and because the damages could "potentially" be more than the bike is worth they are just going the easy way out and writing him a check for $90 less than what he paid for it.  I guess that's fine, but he just put new tires on it and a new bike will cost to register.  Oh awesome!  Something else to pay for right before we need to move.

Figures.

I'm trying to be positive, so yell at me if I keep sounding like a poop.

Don't be afraid to yell at me, I can hear you through the computer- I am magical like that.  Speaking of magical, have you ever seen this? Magical Trevor

Told you my A.D.D. is bad.

What else?

Please keep your fingers crossed for Matt finding a good job quickly in CA.  I know work is "hard to come by" right now for those not willing to look hard enough, but it seems like there are plenty of openings in the hotel industry.  It would be awesome if he found something right away.  Then everything would fall into place.  Oh, speaking of place... we will be staying with Matt's dad when we first get to CA.  It'll save us some money while getting established.  I can't say it's my most preferred situation, but it's only temporary- and it just might help all parties involved.

Everything will be OK...
I think.


I hope.

Last night was... eh... nevermind.

Sitting here at my work desk I am flip flopping between actually working and actually not working.  Sounds nice but I should be getting back to real business.  Trying not to have Lastdayplusmovinganxietyitis.

Thanks for tuning in readers, this entry was a little more personal than usual- but I figured a general update on how my life is going will help future and past blogs make a little more sense.  I can't believe I have 82 followers.  Feels a little surreal.  Making words mean something to people helps fill my soul with purpose.

So again, thank you readers.  Have a good weekend and hopefully something witty/funny/interesting will cross your path.

Sincerely,
Vi