I'm not going to keep trying to be your friend.
I'm not going to be the only one who cares.
I'm not going to be fake.
I give up.
I'm tired of putting on a smile and wishing.
I'm tired of pretending there's a chance you actually like me for me.
I'm tired of thinking someday it could work out.
Oh well. It's your loss.
I'm done with you.
Seems like you have been done with me, so why not?
Friday, May 9, 2008
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
I am Envy
It doesn't usually hit me in the manner it did a few minutes ago- maybe because I am feeling about 60% right now, or just that I can see myself 5 yrs from now, but...
I am envious. I am jealous.
I just read an email from one of my dearest and most wonderful friends. She travels the world to her hearts desire- has lived in places I will probably never see- and always returns glowing and ready for home.
I guess I shouldn't say that I will "never see" these places because there is a chance I will. Yet, for story (and sympathy sake) I will say "never".
Anyway- people, sites, feelings, food, scents, sounds, falling in love with other countries- it's hard to say I have never step foot on soil not governed by USA.
::sigh:: Someday, I guess I can dream. For now, I feel envy and sadness.
Envy and sadness as well as a slight tinge of thanks for the warm California sunshine, and clear air. I always look on the bright side... and it always helps when you look outside your 2nd floor sliding glass door and see white fluff balls floating around like you are in some kind of fairy tale.
At least my imagination can take me places.
I am envious. I am jealous.
I just read an email from one of my dearest and most wonderful friends. She travels the world to her hearts desire- has lived in places I will probably never see- and always returns glowing and ready for home.
I guess I shouldn't say that I will "never see" these places because there is a chance I will. Yet, for story (and sympathy sake) I will say "never".
Anyway- people, sites, feelings, food, scents, sounds, falling in love with other countries- it's hard to say I have never step foot on soil not governed by USA.
::sigh:: Someday, I guess I can dream. For now, I feel envy and sadness.
Envy and sadness as well as a slight tinge of thanks for the warm California sunshine, and clear air. I always look on the bright side... and it always helps when you look outside your 2nd floor sliding glass door and see white fluff balls floating around like you are in some kind of fairy tale.
At least my imagination can take me places.
Friday, May 2, 2008
Shuff
California has been good for me so far- other than the fact I feel like I am missing out on a lot back home. C'est la vie.
Our apartment is a great deal smaller than the house back in UT so it's been a bit of an adjustment.
Honestly- it's better.
At least for me.
I feel more inclined to keep it clean because the moment it gets a bit untidy the place will shrink in size. Hah. I have no idea if that made sense, but I don't mind... so neither should you.
(I copy Chelsea....now....)
Good:
-Trevor is getting along great. He has become more comfortable around new people.
-I have worked out, gotten out, and stayed active. I have even been to the dog park.
-I am making a little money, so I can help out with the bills.
Bad:
-Vince is acting weird. He will pace, give me puppy dog eyes, pace, BEG, and whine. He has never begged before, and whined very rarely. Now he will be lay at my feet and whine.
-I am making very little money.
-We are on the 2nd floor of the apt. complex. Ick.
-I have to wipe out my computer :( Stupid viruses.
Well, there are an abundance of people in the office now- so I am distracted.
More blog later. Maybe.
Our apartment is a great deal smaller than the house back in UT so it's been a bit of an adjustment.
Honestly- it's better.
At least for me.
I feel more inclined to keep it clean because the moment it gets a bit untidy the place will shrink in size. Hah. I have no idea if that made sense, but I don't mind... so neither should you.
(I copy Chelsea....now....)
Good:
-Trevor is getting along great. He has become more comfortable around new people.
-I have worked out, gotten out, and stayed active. I have even been to the dog park.
-I am making a little money, so I can help out with the bills.
Bad:
-Vince is acting weird. He will pace, give me puppy dog eyes, pace, BEG, and whine. He has never begged before, and whined very rarely. Now he will be lay at my feet and whine.
-I am making very little money.
-We are on the 2nd floor of the apt. complex. Ick.
-I have to wipe out my computer :( Stupid viruses.
Well, there are an abundance of people in the office now- so I am distracted.
More blog later. Maybe.
Sunday, April 27, 2008
Workin' Tomorrow...
Yep. I start work tomorrow. I am fairly excited. I know the job is easy- I really like the other girl (who I won't really work with, but it's always nice to LIKE the people in the office)- and I can have Tman with me while I work.
I am happy that I can help bring in the dough. For sho.
Here are a few fun pictures from the BBQ initiating the summer...
I am happy that I can help bring in the dough. For sho.
Here are a few fun pictures from the BBQ initiating the summer...
Day of rest
Not so much ;0).
I have officially started our laundry (in the teeeeeeny washer and dryer), finished putting our clothes away that we brought with us, straightened the kitchen, and organized.
Woohoo! I have found our mailbox, dumpster, and dog area (thankfully right below our apt.).
As I sit here and type, Trevor is sitting amongst his toys making Buzz fly around, and Nathan is sitting on the couch behind him playing a video game.
It's a good day.
Too bad tomorrow starts the working summer, where I will barely see my hubby- but it will be worth it.
::high five::
Time to go play!
I have officially started our laundry (in the teeeeeeny washer and dryer), finished putting our clothes away that we brought with us, straightened the kitchen, and organized.
Woohoo! I have found our mailbox, dumpster, and dog area (thankfully right below our apt.).
As I sit here and type, Trevor is sitting amongst his toys making Buzz fly around, and Nathan is sitting on the couch behind him playing a video game.
It's a good day.
Too bad tomorrow starts the working summer, where I will barely see my hubby- but it will be worth it.
::high five::
Time to go play!
Friday, April 25, 2008
HALLEJUIHIA (halleh...halluhj...JOYOUS!)
We made it to NorCal in one piece after an interesting (but clear) drive.
Today's weather was absolutely perfect... T, Karen, Caleb, and I, even checked out the pool.
After fine tuning some details, and getting our apartment in order, I will be able to safely say, "It's going to be a great summer," but for now I will just leave with this...
"Oh ya."
Today's weather was absolutely perfect... T, Karen, Caleb, and I, even checked out the pool.
After fine tuning some details, and getting our apartment in order, I will be able to safely say, "It's going to be a great summer," but for now I will just leave with this...
"Oh ya."
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