Thursday, November 18, 2010


That's right... 300.

Not the glorious, visually-striking-movie kind of 300...

This is my 300th post.

I have so much to say, and it's a rare occasion when I don't. The gift of gab, as some would say.

My twenties have brought new adventure, knowledge, insight, and wisdom. Our lives are ALWAYS filled with challenges and decisions. I may have not made all the right choices in some folks' eyes but I made them nonetheless. This can't be, won't be, changed.

Reading old posts and reminiscing about the here and there- I've discovered a few things. I've always followed my heart. My head gets in the way sometimes and makes it harder to listen to my heart... but it is what it is.

I'm going through something huge right now and it is a pressing burden. The struggle to stay calm, understanding, forgiving, and accepting is wearing on me. My internal strength is thinning but thankfully I have a great support "team".

I don't completely understand what is going on right now, I have no idea how to go about fixing it, and thinking about the future too much makes me scared. Fear is something I don't hold on to but when it keeps coming back and coming back and coming back I begin to lose touch with my meditative, present, self.

I guess that's what it means to be human. When we pray for patience are we granted patience straight-up or given the opportunity to be patient? When we pray for answers are we given them on a platter or are we presented with the signs and chances to discover the solution? I think you know what I mean...

This challenge is mine, and considering where my life has been taking me I feel as though I need to be EXTREMELY patient, and not fight. Fighting is not the answer. Fighting never is. It always seems to make the path twistier and harder... when it seems as though we can listen, wait, and be positive. Then the better side of life is presented.

I'm rambling.... but it feels nice. Thanks for reading, my friends. I hope somewhere out there in the world my words make sense, and if they only make sense to me then so be it. I will keep doing what I do- smiling the way I smile- laughing at anything I can- dancing everyday- singing to myself- looking in the mirror and seeing a beautiful and strong woman- believing I am good- knowing I am good- knowing I try- accepting when I fail- being thankful for the breath in my lungs and the love in my life- and being me...

If you think I'm being fake, pretentious, naive, lame, or childish then perhaps it's your own mirror you need to look in? And when you do look in the mirror I want you to know that no matter what is on the outside0 you are beautiful and good. Being positive is a choice and if you want change you must make it happen inside yourself first. Life IS good, though things may have been taken away, lost, or forgotten. Be honest with yourself, and LOVE yourself... then once you get into that groove- share your love with everyone else! :)

That's my 300 cents.
Have a good day everyone... in fact, have a good few days... maybe even a good week. Keep it going.

Much love,